Thursday, March 20, 2014

  Cleo loves to watch our new flat screen TV, at least when the painters are not in the house.
Poor shy Cleo had to hide in the living room while the painter painted he hiding room.  She spent the day hiding in the corner behind my chair or under the end table behind my books.
 

Saturday, January 25, 2014


 

   GRANDPA  here. Many of you who read this blog may wonder where Melvin Zwick came from.  Well he was born around 1961 when I sent my brother a photo of me on stage at the Baboquivaris and he wrote this typical Phooey Ralph flyer.  I had always wanted to write stories but my grammar was not the best.  When I started having Grandkids I got the desire to write stories for them.  So Grandpa took on the pen name of MELVIN ZWICK.  Melvin Zwick takes blame for all the poor grammar.  Only problem with him is that he thinks he can be anything and do anything and he is a little braggadocios.   

 
  Note I, GRANDPA, will always write in italics and in blue letters.

 

 


WHAT ARE THE ODDS

by

MELVIN ZWICK THE GREAT GRANDPA LOOK ALIKE.

 

  Grandpa plays guitar and sings in the Bounce Back Band in Sun City.  The band consists of Grandpa and 5 or 6 seasoned citizens who play guitars, a base, a fiddle and a harmonica. 

  I MELVIN ZWICK am an excellent guitar player and singer.

   Melvin Zwick you are nothing but a blowhard making up stories as you type away.

     Oh yeah Grandpa what follows is true.

    Kate the lady of the Bounce Back Band mentioned to grandpa that there is a jam session at the Beatitudes every Wednesday night.  She said the program is set up by a crazy base player named Igor Glen.  

  Grandpa said he was playing folk songs at the Babaquivaries in Scottsdale in the early 6os when he met Igor.  The odds of hearing about a fellow Grandpa knew 60 years ago are not too great.  Right?

  But wait; there is more to the story.  Grandpa returned home from Band practice and went on Facebook.  The first spot was from Dolan Ellis another fellow Grandpa knew in the 60s at the Babaqiuvaries inviting all to attend his concert at the Mining Camp Restaurant..

  What are the odds of Grandpa hearing about two fellows he knew at the Babaquivaries 60 years ago.  The odds are getting larger.

  It should be noted here that spelling the word for the coffee house has always been a problem.  Grandpa never knew how to spell Babaqariaries and neither do I, MELVIN ZWICK.

  But wait there is even a more amazing happening to this story.

  Grandpa sat down at one of his Jewelry work benches and started to create a piece of jewelry.  He drops a tool on the floor and reached over to pick it up.  

   There sitting on a container of silver sprues he had cut off his castings a couple of days before was a faded yellow calling card.  Now the odds have reached epic proportions.  

   That yellow calling card was from the Baboquarvaires.  

 
  How did that card get there?  It appeared out of nowhere.  Grandpa never opened any book, wallet, folder or any other item that might have contained the card.     

   What are the odds that Grandpa would hear the names of two fellows he knew back in the early 60s from the Baboquivaris and have a Baboquivaris calling card show up all with in a period of 8 hours?  And now both Grandpa and I, MELVIN ZWICK, know how to spell Baboquivaris.

  The odds against that happening are extremely great.

  Grandpa took the hint and went to see Dolan at the Mining Camp restaurant.

  Great show.  A really fun great show.

 

THE END FOR NOW

 

 

Wednesday, December 25, 2013


KYLE THE MASSIVE ROCK WALL BUILDER

By

MELVIN ZWICK THE GREAT

   Kyle Bowes the 6 foot 5.5 inch tall Grandson of Grandpa is a very active hard working fellow. 
 
   He never refused work.  He has built green houses,
dog houses,

mouse traps and wood baskets for his older sister soap business.
 
Kyle is a wild and crazy guy.

  He is a great friend and mentor to his younger brothers Timothy, Benjamin and Joseph.
What a great bunch of brothers and sisters.  Benjamin, Kyle, Valerie (Quad sister) holding Brielle, Joseph, Victoria (Quad sister), Caroline (Quad sister) Joseph, Older sister Lydia and her husband Richie.

  He even has published a book he wrote when he was 14 years old.
   He has the greatest parents in the world, Chocolate Loving Momma and Computer Guru Daddy.  Chocolate Loving Momma takes her love for chocolate from her father and Computer Guru Daddy gets his skills from me, MELVIN ZWICK, the father of all the gremlins that infect computers.

  He was asked by his Grandmother, Meemom, to build a rock wall along their drive to their home.  This would be a wall to beat all walls.  The wall of China is only a little longer.  Well maybe a lot longer but Meemom’s wall would be VERY long.

  So a truck load of rocks was delivered and Kyle went to work.  These rocks range in size from 10 to 50 pounds.  The average size is probably around 25 pounds.

  He started on the entrance end of the drive.  The wall on this end is not very large. 
  The rocks were placed one by one than another truck load was delivered then the rocks were placed and so on.

  As the construction moved along the height grew until the wall was about 12 feet tall.

  Kyle had to pick up each rock and place it.  He would have to climb the bank while carrying a rock at a time.  Bend over and pick up a rock than climb the bank bend over and place the rock than climb back down and pick up another rock and start all over again.  Over and over again.  Bend over and pick up a rock, climb, bend over and place than climb back down.
  Months of bending over and pick up a rock, climb, bend over and
place than climb back down.  The wall got longer and higher as he went
along.  That meant more climbing.
  Just look at the size of these rocks. 
 
Kyle and his Grandparents
  This is an example of the large part of the rock wall.  Kyle is 6’5.5 inches tall. 
  This photo shows the location of the rock wall.  Kyle picked up, moved and placed
156 tons of rock.  If the average weight of a rock is say 25 pounds he had to bend
over, pick up a rock, carry it up the hill and place it 12,480 times.  A VW bug weight
1850 pounds.  Moving 156 tons of rock is the equivalent of lifting 168 VW bugs. 
 
When Kyle got done he posed for this photo.  Excuse the bare chest.
 

THE END

Monday, December 9, 2013

Grandpa's Grandson Kyle Bowes started a story on his blog recently.  He invited family and friends to add to the story as it progressed.  There were three basic rules.  Each sentence added had to start with the last letter of the previous sentence and one could add only one sentence at a time and could not add another sentence until at least two sentences were written by others after their last sentence.

The following is that story as it progressed with spacing between each added sentence.  However I, MELVIN ZWICK could not resist finishing the story before the alleged time was up.  Its a problem I, MELVIN ZWICK, have.  My fingers cannot stop wiggling on the keyboard of Grandpa's laptop.  Fortunately words seem to be continually formed in that manner.
 
The first sentence was written by Kyle. 

 I did not divulge my ending to Kyle's blog.  My ending is added after the line between the section where there is spacing between sentences and no space between sentences. 


 
KYLE’S FACEBOOK STORY
Destiny in search of his Destiny
As written by The Bowes family and friends and an ending by MELVIN ZWICK

written between 12-5-13 to 12-8-13

Once upon a time in a far away land, a wee lad named Destiny (aptly nicknamed "Tiny" by his friends) set off on a grand quest.

Tiny, from the day his active brain cells were capable of logic thought, felt his task in life was to fulfill his given name of Destiny.

Yes indeed, even though Destiny was a wee lad, he was highly intelligent, and had very unique abilities that were no doubt given to him for a very special purpose.

Eventually, after very few miles had passed, Tiny came to the conclusion that he must replenish his small bag of food (for he could only carry so much baggage on his journey, and though he was small, he had an astonishing appetite.)

 Escaping hunger was futile for Tiny, but he possessed the uncanny ability to sense delicious blueberries from a distance of four furlongs.

Sadly, though his tummy was full and his pockets were stuffed of fresh, delicious blueberries, the sight, smell, feel and taste of the blueberries made his heart sick for home, as he remembered just how much his older brother loved blueberries

Staring off into the middle distance, Tiny was suddenly struck by the hard-hitting reality that every warm and happy memory of his life was bound by a common thread . . . that tiny blue ball of sunshine, the blueberry!

"Yuck!" Tiny exclaimed, suddenly coming to his senses, shaking his head, and moving on, for he knew that blueberries were about as palatable as poison.

Nothing took his mind off of his older brothers as he moved through the blueberries oblivious to the dangerous blue faced bloggers residing in the patch.

Having filled his tummy with blueberries (even tho they were only as palatable as poison), Tiny decided it was time to solve the first riddle of his quest: Why did his parents give him a name that was so often given to girls?

Hustling now to press on in his most epic journey, and already feeling somewhat fatigued after traveling a full four furlongs, he was still quite unaware of the danger that lurked all around him.

Keeping his bruised head together Destiny whirled around and made a face he had been taught how to make by his big brother at his attacker than rambled on away from the dangerous blue faced bloggers he calculated in his brilliant mind that four furlongs amounts to a half a mile which to Tiny was a great distance for such a small fellow.

S)uddenly, (M)ost unexpectedly, his jumbled array of mish-matched thoughts (why he had a girl's name, why he suddenly had more than one big brother, why he was carrying a pocketful of blueberries when he hated them, etc.) were cut short by a stunning thump to the head as the blue-faced blogger's club found it's mark.

Keeping his bruised head together, Destiny whirled around and made one of the mean faces, which his big brothers had taught him, at the blue-faced blogger calculating as did, in his very active brilliant mind that four furlongs amounts to a half mile, which he realized was a long distance for such a tiny fellow.to travel.

Liberated was our little friend Tiny has he knocked over the aforementioned creature and sat on him and patted him on the cheek saying "You ugly thing, go home to your mama and leave me alone or I might just..." (the gurgling in Tiny's stomach-full of blueberries was enough to finish his sentence and widen the eyes of the blue-faced blogger in horror.)

Racing against time, he stood immediately to his feet ,and with a valiant cry, Tiny ran off into the forest and courageously vaulted into the highest tree he could find, to hide from the evil blue-faced blogger who was in hot pursuit of the innocent dwarf, the blogger who had injured him but also whom he had horrified with his brilliant wits.

Surprised by, but recognizing that his increased stamina and mental brilliance to out run, out wit, and vault into the highest tree came from God's most perfect provision, a tummy full of blueberries, he caught his breath and watched his pursuers from high above the dense forest.

Then our hero remembered from his extensive reading that 13 dwarves and a hobbit had been in much the same fix (up a tree with an enemy below), so he looked up to the sky in search of a giant eagle to carry him away.

Yearning for freedom Tiny noted a black spot in the pale blue sky, but as it came closer he realized it was an ominous sign, a big dark black vulture hoping to feed on him.

Thinking quickly, Tiny pulled out a rope from his bag, tied it around the tree, and swung effortlessly to a neighboring tree, because it's foliage was much more dense and likely to protect him from the vulture.

Even though Tiny had been taught diligently by his parents in his wee years that the Almighty God created him with a very special purpose for his life; and that he should always trust in Him and not fear as He would always protect him and provide all that he needed to accomplish the good deeds He had for him, the extreme predicament he was in began to weigh heavily on his mind.

Dreaming of safety, longing for the continuation of his quest,he swung from that tree to the next and the next until he had escaped the forest, thus free from the perils of the vulture and the blue-faced blogger.

Now safely out of the woods, Tiny faced a long and wide valley surrounded by high snowy capped mountains, which would take him days to walk across.... but wait...... Tiny looked and saw a beautiful white stallion, which could carry him farther and faster across this giant valley, if only he could tame this wild creature.

Eyeing the magnificent white stallion with caution, Tiny, with his ever observing mind, realized this great creature was in need of nourishment, so he reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of tasty blueberries and offered them to the waiting lips of the very appreciative animal who pranced with boundless energy.

After Tiny offered this weary -- yet magnificent-- animal these delicious blueberries, he noticed that not only did it revive the beautiful horse's spirits, but that it also changed the color of the horse to a dark blue (as blue as the blueberries)..... how could this happen???

Now astride his slightly less magnificent--and much more odd--steed, Tiny set off for the snow-capped peaks far ahead, feeling strangely certain that his quest lay among the chilly stone edifices.

Sounds of singing suddenly came to Tiny's ears as he bounced along on his newly named horse Azule.

Excited to see who it was that was singing, he gave Azule a good "giddy-up", and as he rounded a bend, he thought he might have heard angels on high, sweetly singling o'er the plains . . . or was it the mountains echoing in reply?

You think we are angels?" a high-pitched voice suddenly asked from behind Tiny with a curious chuckle, and suddenly the singing stopped as a hundred beady eyes looked up at their new visitor and his blue horse . . . and also a West Highland White Terrier (that's a mouthful) who had joined Tiny somewhere along the way.

Yikes," a very surprised Tiny yelped as he looked around and found a large collection of very angry looking Blue-Faced Bloggers which had surrounded him, his prancing blue horse and his West Highland White Terrier who was barking in a machine gun pace which did not seem to affect the enemy.

"You hush now," Tiny comforted the West Highland White Terrier as he eyed the Blue-Faced Bloggers, many of whom appeared to be suffering terribly from assorted finger and wrist ailments.

Some time of awkward silence elapsed as the creatures looked each other over, after which time Tiny came to the conclusion that these Blue-Faced creatures were not all that intimidating anymore, and were actually quite pitiful, with small, round bodies and tiny arms and legs that looked more like different shaped twigs compared to the size of their bodies, and a large round head that sat simply on top of the rather small body.

Sadly, it seems they all had wrist and finger ailments from picking too many blueberries. Little Tiny remembered that he knew how to make a potion of various leaves and vines that would cure their ailments.

"You guys again," Tiny groaned, for he had been quite sure that he had left the creeps behind.

"Dear, oh dear…everyone and everything I have come in contact with (except for his brilliant White West Highland Terrier) has become blue," thought Tiny, (as he was suddenly reminded with horror of a girl in a movie he once saw who had to be rolled out and squeezed like a blueberry) "…have I also turned blue and in need of juicing as well?"

Despite his twinge of pity on the creatures Tiny desired never to deal with them ever again, so after he wrote down the potion ingredients on a leaf with some coals of wood, he simply nudged Azule who jumped right over them and galloped off into the distance(with the terrier in tow, of course.)

Examining the potion ingredients, the blue faced bloggers were not grateful. Rather, they thought Tiny was trying to poison them so they took off after him in hot pursuit.

Ten thousand of them, to be exact!

Tiny whipped out a laptop computer from his saddlebag and, laughing at the blue-faced bloggers' impending doom, pressed the "delete" button.

Now on the move again, Tiny patted the neck of his beautiful blue steed, glanced down at his little white dog (who he had named Sophie) and wondered what sort of adventures still lay in store for them.

Meanwhile one Blue-Faced Blogger having tried the special potion realized it was healing and fereling obliged chased after Tiny catching up with him in a beautiful meadow and said, "Hey human that is small for you I will guide us on your adventure if it pleases you so."

"Okay, you can come along--but if you cause any more trouble, I will delete you to my "recycle file" just like the rest of your friends," Tiny finished ominously, nodding at his laptop.

"Pretty good terms, those are," the blogger replied, "but you must also allow me to bring along my sheep."

"Please join my quest, with all the animals you like," Tiny replied graciously.

"Perhaps I would allow you to bring your sheep along," Tiny replied, "but I am not familiar with sheep other than those of a lovely lady in Mossyrock, Washington by the name of Lydia."

"You really mean it?" The blue-faced blogger asked incredulously, his blue eyes wide and hopeful, and Tiny suddenly knew he would regret his gracious offer.

Remembering that his quest must be completed on time, Tiny decided he better construct a one-horse-open-sleigh for his new friends to travel with him in.

Nothing could stop such a persistent lad... that is, until he found that he was stuck in an unavoidable predicament: there was no snow for his sleigh!

Many minutes later Tiny was on the blue colored stallion which was pulling an Indian travois, built from memory of a description in a story his Grandfather had read to him when he was much smaller, on which was mounted the Blue-Faced Blogger, only four of his 55 sheep and Sophie as they headed to the white covered mountains.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  Tiny pulled his fully loaded travois to a halt next to the largest strawberry field he had ever seen in his very short life. The strawberries were massive.
  His blue stallion now named Azule immediately entered the field and started to satisfy their gnawing hunger.
  In his quest of satisfying his bottomless hunger he did not notice his guide the Blue-Faced Blogger had left the travois and was slinking toward a nearby hill. 
  Once he reached the top of the hill he shouted at the top of his small lungs, "Great Uncle Strawberry, I your long lost nephew Grazzelfern brought you a human.  I know he is small but he should make a tasty meal along with the sheep we brought."
  Tiny jumped around to see where the shout came from an instant before he was pounced upon by a large dark red strawberry shaped figure.
  Tiny felt his arms tied behind his back as he was thrust upon the travois with the sheep.  Sophie scampered into a thick overhang of strawberry leaves. 
  Grazzelfern shouted down from the hill, "Remember Great Uncle Strawberry to send the reward to me.  It would not be to our berry code of ethics to forget the reward.
  Tiny was taken a short distance to a clearing that had three straw structures. 
  The strawberry character shouted out, "Gather around family, we will get even once again with the humans for eating our relatives as a desert by eating one of their off springs."
 Tiny noted, as he laid bound on the ground in front of a straw hut, that several very large strawberry characters were preparing a fire under a very large flat kettle.  He also noted that they all seemed to continually scratch themselves.  It appeared to the brilliant scientific mind of Tiny that the seeds on the surface of their bodies were causing a tremendous itching to the strawberries.
  A plan started to germinate in Tiny's brilliant mind. 
  He called over to Great Uncle Strawberry and said, "I notice Oh Great Uncle Strawberry that you seem to be continually scratching."
  To that Great Uncle Strawberry glared at Tiny and told him to shut up.
  But Tiny persisted and said, “Great Uncle Strawberry I have a solution to your itching problem.”
  Great Uncle Strawberry still glared but seemed a little interested.  He Replied, “How could you, a small insignificant human, know how to solve our itching problem?”
  Tiny replied, “Oh Great Uncle Strawberry it is simple.  I come from a human family that has many sisters who are great bakers.  Many times I have seen them bake a blanket that cause the itching seeds to be removed from strawberry bodies.”    Now Great Uncle Strawberry was interested and asked, “Little human of insignificants can you bake one of these blankets?”
  “Oh yes, but you would have to supply all the things I need to bake the blanket and turn me loose so I could do the mixing and baking.”
   “Ha Ha now I know you are lying insignificant human.  You are just trying to escape.”
  “Oh no Great Uncle Strawberry you can keep a rope tied to my leg while I bake the blanket so that I can not escape.
  To that the Great Strawberry ordered Tiny to be freed and have his ankle tied to a long rope which was tied to another big Strawberry.
  Tiny gave Great Uncle Strawberry a list of ingredients needed for the blanket.
  Great Uncle Strawberry gave the list to a couple of strawberries and ordered them to immediately gather the stuff on the list.
  Tiny noted that the fire and the large kettle would be just great for baking the blanket and asked Great Uncle Strawberry to drain the water out of it. He than told Great Uncle Strawberry to build a rock hut around the kettle.  The order was given. Within a few hours the ingredients were collected and a nice rock hut was built around the kettle.  Tiny explained to Great Uncle Strawberry that the hut would make a great oven for baking the blanket.
  Tiny mixed the ingredients in the kettle and stoked up the fire till the rocks were glowing. 
  Shortly Tiny instructed Great Uncle Strawberry to remove the rocks as the blanket was now baked.  The strawberries used gloves of strawberry leaves to shield their hands from the hot rocks.
  The rocks were removed and there in the very large flat kettle was a warm beautifully baked shortcake.
  Tiny instructed Great Uncle Strawberry and his family to jump on to the blanket which they did.
  Tiny poured some sheep milk on the Strawberries and that dabbed on some freshly made up sheep whipped cream on top of the strawberries.  
  And there you have it.  Strawberry shortcake on which Tiny, Azule and Sophie feasted on.
  Oh by the way, Destiny also known as Tiny now knew his destiny and that is to tell all mankind never to trust a blueberry and always enjoy strawberry shortcake.

THE END

Wednesday, November 27, 2013


FEATHER WADDLES

THE TURKEY

BY

KYLE BOWES

AND GRANDPA

 

FEATHER WADDLES WENT SHOPPING AT THE LOCAL GROCERY STORE TO GATHER TOGETHER THE NECESSITIES FOR HIS THANKSGIVING DINNER.
 
FEATHER WADDLES HAD DREAMS OF EATING LOTS OF CORN FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER.

 


 
BUT HE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT A FORK AND A KINFE WAS CHASING HIM.

 


 
FEATHER WADDLES BOUGHT LOTS OF CORN AND SUCCOTASH AND WALKED OUT OF THE STORE ON HIS WAY HOME.



 




ON THE WAY HOME FEATHER WADDLES WAS DELIGHTED TO THINK OF HIS GREAT THANKSGIVING DINNER. BUT A PILGRIM WHO HAD THOUGHTS OF PUTTING A TURKEY IN THE OVEN FOR HIS THANKSGIVING DINNER.

 


JUMPED OUT OF THE BUSHES AND CHASED FEATHER WADDLES.
 

THE PILGRIM POINTED HIS GUN AT FEATHER WADDLES

 

 

BUT FEATHER WADDLES RELIED ON HIS KARATE TRAINING TOOK THE GUN AWAY.

 



FEATHER WADDLES WENT HOME AND CELEBRATED GETTING AWAY FROM THE PILGRIM.
 

FEATHER WADDLES SAT DOWN WITH HIS GRANDPA AND ATE CORN AND SUCCOTASH UNTIL THERE WAS NONE LEFT.

 

 
 
FROM KYLE AND GRANDPA

THE END