Wednesday, November 27, 2013



























Friday, November 8, 2013







   It has been several months since MELVIN ZWICK, entered Bachi Bachi's attic. 

   The photo above shows Bachi Bachi’s home when Grandpa was very young.  That is Grandpa and a neighbor girl standing in front of the house the ATTIC MONSTER lived in. 

   The attic was above the massive sleeping room on the second floor.  The whole upstairs was one very large bed room.  Melvin Zwick and Grandpa used to roller skate around the beds when it was to wet or cold to go outside. 

   There were 26 canvas covered windows around the second floor.  The was a large closet in one corner of the bedroom and a build tin dresser in another corner.

  MELVIN ZWICK could still remember when he was told about the ATTIC MONSTER.  As a boy he was searching for hidden Christmas presents that were send to Tucson by his Cocia Gwen.  She always sent presents early.  MELVIN ZWICK was searching in the upstairs closet  when he noticed a trap door in the ceiling.  His curiosity was peeked but there was no way to climb up to see where it led.

  That day he casually mentioned to Bachi Bachi that he had seen a trap door when he was taking a shirt out of the closet. 

  Bachi Bachi’s eyes got big as she related the story about the ATTIC MONSTER.  She said there was a very big monster that lived in the attic.  It was so big it would eat anyone who went near it.  She said never never never lift the trap door. 

  As a kid MELVIN ZWICK believed everything Bachi Bachi told him. 

   For years he believed thunder was the noise made by Giants in the sky who were bowling.   Lightning were bolts of electricity that the Sky Giants were throwing at each other.  Wind was caused by the same Giants who were blow in a game they played.  They liked to see how far they could move things without touching them.  Bachi Bachi told him all these things.

  MELVIN ZWICK still remembers how he felt when he told a school friend of the bowling Giants.  His buddy laughed and said there were no Giants in the sky.  MELVIN ZWICK said, “Oh yeah, lets ask Mrs Thomas,” their third grade teacher.  She would set his buddy straight.  MELVIN ZWICK was greatly embarrassed when Mrs Thomas told him there were no Giants in the sky.  For weeks all MELVIN ZWICK schoolmates laughed at him saying things like, “Melvin the sky giants are going to bowl you over.” 

   Why wouldn’t he believe everything Bachi Bachi told him.  He was well trained to believe his elders.

   As a kid MELVIN ZWICK was set straight about thunder, lightning and wind but he still knew there was an ATTIC MONSTER above the bed room.  How many times MELVIN ZWICK wanted to check out the attic but the thought of the monster left him knowing that entering the attic would not be the best thing for a kid to do. 

   As an adult MELVIN ZWICK did not fear the ATTIC MONSTER so it was easy for him to enter the attic.

   On that trip he recovered a leather trunk with gold edge strips, hinges and latches.

   The trunk contained a leather bound book and many faded yellow papers with writing on them. 

   MELVIN ZWICK determined the leather bound book was filled with proclamations made by a King that existed in Poland almost 600 years ago. 

   It had taken all these past months for MELVIN ZWICK to translate the 83 headings on the pages of proclamations contained in the book.  The only proclamation that made any sense for our period of time was the 39th. 

   The 39th proclamation explained why MELVIN ZWICK was shrinking and ADELBERT MAARSCHALKERWEERD the great Kyle look alike here after known as ADELBERT, MELVIN ZWICK’S nearest first born Grandson was getting taller. 

   That proclamation basically stated that as a Grandpa ages he shrinks and his first born Grandson grows in height. 

   The rest of the proclamations in the leather book pertained to guides for running the Polish government. 

   How MELVIN ZWICK has a near Grandson named ADELBERT is easy to explain.  ADELBERT lives in semi hiding with CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMUTER GURU DADDY just like MELVIN ZWICK semi hides with his look alike, Grandpa. 

   Obviously MELVIN ZWICK didn't have any interest in totally translating the rest of the proclamations.  He had no need to know how to run a Polish government.

   MELVIN ZWICK, next turned his interest to the many faded yellow papers in the trunk.  There was a bunch of very yellowed hand written notes stored haphazardly in the bottom of the leather trunk.  What information might all these yellowed pages have to tell MELVIN?

   It would probably take the rest of MELVIN ZWICK very notable life to translate all of the pages of hand written Polish notes.  That project was not in MELVIN ZWICK’S very busy schedule.

   So MELVIN ZWICK, grudgingly planned to set the gold framed leather trunk back into the attic.  The trunk just might spend the rest of it's life in the attic with the ATTIC MONSTER.

   The transfer to the attic was not meant to be however.  All day long the trunk was calling MELVIN ZWICK.  At first the call was very subdued.  Through out the day a though of the leather trunk would pass through MELVIN ZWICK'S very active brain.  Those of you who know MELVIN ZWICK know he is an extremely busy individual.

   As the days went by the thoughts of the leather trunk came more often and became more intense.  The thoughts of the leather trunk with the bunch of faded yellow pages started to consumed all his thoughts.  Every waking hour was spent thinking about the yellow pages.  MELVIN ZWICK could not get the yellowed pages out of his mine.

   There was something in those yellow paged that needed to be exposed.  Was it necessary to translate all the yellow pages or just a few or maybe just one page?

   As MELVIN ZWICK though about all the faded yellow pages his mind started to get the impression there was only one page calling him.  Only one of scattered faded yellow pages was calling MELVIN ZWICK.  But which one?

   His mind started to get the same image over and over again.  The image was not clear enough to lead to the correct page in the stack but it was clear enough to know it was the same page each time it appeared in his brain.

   How would MELVIN ZWICK find the yellowed page that was constantly in his mind?

   He though if he looked through the pages one at a time he might recognize the page that was calling him.  How would that work? All the pages looked the same.  They were all hand written in what appeared to be Polish.

   So MELVIN ZWICK opened the trunk and looked inside.  There were the faded yellow pages in disarray covering the bottom of the trunk. 

   He gathered up the faded yellow pages and stacked them face up and set them aside for the moment.

   After he removed the faded yellow pages he noticed what appeared to be golf ball size balls in the bottom of the trunk. 

   The balls appeared to be semi-transparent.  Almost as if they contained some liquid.  They looked sticky but MELVIN ZWICK noted nothing was sticking to them.  He made a mental note of the semi-transparent balls with the intent of studying them in greater detail after he sorted through the faded yellow pages.

   So MELVIN ZWICK started by arranging the jumbled bunch of faded yellow pages.  The pages seemed to be in no specific order.  They were all the same size but some seemed to be a more yellow color.  Maybe some were older that others.  The writing appeared to once be black but had faded greatly. 

   There appeared to be no heading or page numbers on the pages. 

   MELVIN ZWICK made a quick count of the faded yellow pages.  One, two, three… one hundred and sixteen.  One hundred sixteen faded yellow pages all with hand written notes in what appeared to be Polish.  The page on the top of the now assembled stack sat there looking up at him.  Hand written polish.  What could it say. 

   The GOOGLE translate program is very easy to use.  All one has to do is type in the Polish words and the program translates the words into English.

   The program is simple but the typing in the Polish words would be a major task.

   To begin with the words are hand written in Polish.  The handwriting letters are not always easy to recognize.  Then the words themselves are not recognizable because they are Polish. 

   For instance take the words:

Dzień dobry

   Two simple words right.  But try typing them into the computer.  The mind does not recognize them.  So typing them into the computer would be somewhat difficult for MELVIN ZWICK.  MELVIN ZWICK is great at most everything but typing is not one of his strengths.  His ability is only slightly better that the two finger method of typing.

   By the way the two words are Polish for “Good morning.”

   MELVIN ZWICK knew that he was getting a message from only one page.  But which one.  It surely was not the top page.

   MELVIN ZWICK then started looking at each page.  A glance at the top page Nothing.  It was just a yellow page with a bunch of Polish written on it that meant nothing to him.  So he set the first page on the table next to him and looked at the second sheet.  No feeling.  So the second page was placed face up on top of the first sheet on the table.  And so it went.  MELVIN ZWICK would lift the top page on the original stack and study it for a second, then set it on the previous reviewed pages face up. 

   MELVIN ZWICK was excited as he reviewed the pages.   He now knew that there was a page in the stack that must be translated.  That page held a note that would prove to be exciting.  He felt that page would take him on an exciting adventure.

   He noticed that around page 83 the slight twinge on the back of his neck started to increase.  He noticed the twinge became stronger as he continued lifting, looking at and setting aside each following page.  The feeling started to taper off after about the 93rd page.  By the time the last page was reviewed and set on the second pile the twinge was completely gone.

   Was there a page somewhere between say 90 and 95 that was important.  Was one of those pages giving MELVIN ZWICK a strong twinge on the back of his neck?  He determined he needed to run the cycle again.  This time he would more closely evaluate the feeling if it happened again.

   At this point a little MELVIN ZWICK personality description is necessary.  MELVIN ZWICK is one of those nutty compulsive people who counts every thing.  He knew it took 23 steps to get to the mail box, there were 14 bites in the sandwich he ate for lunch.  And so it was he knew the most intense feeling came at page 93 of the 116 total pages of the stack of Polish notes.

    Page by page MELVIN ZWICK started looking through the stack of yellow pages again.

   If there was really a feeling as he dealt through the pages it would happen again around the 93rd page.

 One by one he moved a page from the first stack to the second stack. 

 This time the twinge began around page 20 and reached a peak at page 23.  Well so much for the twinge test.  The twinge on the back of his neck came at a different page count this time as MELVIN ZWICK looked through the stack of pages.

   The most intense twinge on MELVIN ZWICK'S neck, while flipping through the pages the first time, occurred at page 93.  On the second count the feeling occurred at page 23.

   So much for the test.

   What a waste of time.  MELVIN ZWICK leafed through the faded yellow pages one at a time taking time to study each page for a few moments.  He did that twice and came to the conclusion that the twinge on the back of his neck was only his imagination playing games with him. 

   MELVIN ZWICK set the stack of pages in the bookcase in the study and walked back into the living room.  He had just wasted a major portion of the day looking at Polish notes written on faded old yellow pages.  He wondered why he did that.  Was the whole call of the notes only his imagination playing games with him?

   As he sat down in his chair in front of his 55 inch flat screen TV he remembered why he has such an obsession with those papers.  He had this crazy feeling there was something in those papers that he had to be exposed to him. 

   The pages with Polish written on them would have to wait.  MELVIN ZWICK had better things to do.  He was writing a story for Grandpa's Grandkids.  This story was about the time he went to Tibet and found his cloak of invisibility.  The cloak allowed him to go places without being seen. 

   He used the cloak of invisible once when he went with Grandpa to visit the Mossyrock Crossroads Country Ranchers.  He boarded Southwest aircraft with Grandpa and found a vacant seat for the flight to Portland.  The person seated next to him was a little spooked when they saw the seat cushion being depressed.  They must have thought no one would believe them if she reported the sighting so she never reported what she saw.

   The van ride from Portland to Mossyrock was a little more difficult.  There are so many ranchers they occupy all the seats.  MELVIM ZWICK had to sit in the storage section of the van.  He was a little stiff when they got to the ranch.  He went for a walk down to the mailbox to stretch his legs.

   No one knew he was in their presents.

   MELVIN ZWICK had printed out the first 23 pages of the story with the intent of proof reading them. 

    As he read through the pages he found a major problem with a paragraph on page 19.  MELVIN ZWICK decided he would re-write the error after he had proof read all the pages.  He continued on proof reading the rest of the 23 pages.

   The pages of his story were not numbered.  That would not be a problem.  By his compulsive counting habit he knew the page with the glaring error was the 19th page from the top of the stack.

   MELVIN ZWICK picked up the stack and started counting down.  He counted down 19 pages, and studied the page and WHAT? The 19th page down should have been the troubled page but it wasn't.  There was no error on that page.  How could that be.  MELVIN ZWICK does not make mistakes.  He looked for an error on page 18 and page 20.  No error on those pages that needed to be corrected.

   MELVIN ZWICK put his highly analytical mind to work.  He reviewed each step he went through as he proof read his story.

   He had picked up the 23 printed pages of his story.  He had placed the stack face up on his lap.  He picked up the top page and read it.  When he had finished reading it he placed that page face up on the end table next to his chair.  He continued these steps until he had looked at the last page.

   After the first pass he picked up the stack from the end table and counted down the pages as he removed the top page and placed it face up on the end table.  When he got to the 19th page he found a page with no errors. 

  What went wrong? 

   Most of you who know MELVIN ZWICK, are probably thinking he has led you into another MELVIN ZWICK contest.  Well this time is different.  No contest, only a story.

   Why was the error in MELVIN ZWICK’S Invisible Cloak story the 19th page but then it was not the 19th?

   So what went wrong.  Why was the Polish page that was nudging him during his first pass at the faded yellow pages the 93rd and then the second pass the page was the 23rd.

   The same thing happened when MELVIN ZWICK was reviewing his story.

MELVIN ZWICK was too tired to solve the problem that night.  He placed the problem into the chamber of his subconscious mind, pulled the curtain around it and went to sleep.

   Early the next morning after little sleep MELVIN ZWICK'S brilliant sub conscious brain had solved the problem.  It threw the solution outto his conscious mind as he was eating his normal breakfast of Oatmeal and Yogurt with a touch of honey and cinnamon. The answer came to him as he was wondering if some of the honey could be from Miss Lydia’s honey bees.

   The solution was really simple.   

   Let's return to the steps MELVIN ZWICK took in reviewing the pages of his story.

   MELVIN ZWICK removed the top page of the stack that was in his lap face up.  He read it.  He then placed it on the end table face up.  He then did the same with the next top page of the stack. He placed the page face up on the page on the end table

   MELVIN ZWICK’S brilliant mind told him he was shuffling the pages.  By placing the top page of the stack face up in the second pile he was making the top page of the first stack the bottom page of the second stack.  RIGHT.  Problem solved!!!!!!!

   The 93 page on the first count became the 23 page on the second count. 

   Now MELVIN ZWICK knew what the problem with his page count was.  He could find the page that was calling him.

  The page he was looking for should be the 93 on the third count.

   MELVIN ZWICK gathered the faded yellow pages again and took them into the living room where he sat down in his leather chair.  He counted down to the 93rd page.  The twinge in the back of his neck started again and lasted as long as he held that page. 

   So what did the 93rd page have to say? MELVIN ZWICK would have to translate it. 

  The page in faded brown ink read:



Poprzez podpisanie tego przymierza stwierdzamy, że wszystkie pokolenia naszej rodziny Kowkarski będzie na bieżąco i straż z naszego życia najcenniejszym skarbem rodziny królewskiej z Polska.

 My, członkowie rodziny Kowkaerski, zapewniam, że będziemy przekazywać tę odpowiedzialność do kolejnych pokoleń naszej rodziny.

 Będziemy strzec skarbu aż do zwolnienia przez członka polskiej rodziny królewskiej.

 A quick look into Google Translate produced the following translation:


“By signing this covenant we affirm that all generations of our Kowkarski family will keep and guard with our lives the most valuable treasure of the Royal Family of Poland.

   We, members of the Kowkarski family, assure that we will pass this responsibility on to following generations of our family.

   We will guard the treasure until released by a member of the Polish Royal Family.”

   The bottom of the page had several signatures that looked like they belong to the Kowkarski members.  The bottom of the page also looked like it was stamped with fingers dipped is some dark reddish ink. Could it be the ink was blood?

   MELVIN ZWICK wondered why the page had been nudging him.  He gave the question a few minutes of though then realize the answer was simple.   The reason he had been called by the 93rd page was because he was part Polish and was the greatest adventurer on the planet. 

   What would be the next step the greatest adventuress on the planet be in finding the most valuable Polish Family Treasure?

   Was the most valuable treasure gems or maybe gold or some title to extremely valuable land?

   Would the Polish Royal Family Treasure be gold? Gold has been a treasure ever since it was first discovered.  How long has it been a treasure? 

   That question sidetracked the ever inquisitive MELVIN ZWICK.  He had to know the answer. 

  A quick trip to a GOOGLE search on his massive computer system was called for.  His search revealed the following:

                “Nobody knows who picked up a gold nugget first but

                it would have been because it was shiny. Gold was highly

                valued from the earliest recorded times in history. It

                seems that the Egyptians developed gold smelting some

                5600 years ago (about 3600 BC) using clay blowpipes to

                heat the smelter contents.”

        An interesting side not was discovered whail looking for the age of gold.  The lady ranchers might be interested in this note.

                “The first known chemist was a woman. A Mesopotamian

                cuneiform tablet from the second millenium B.C.

                describes Tapputi, a perfumer and palace overseer who

                distilled the essences of flowers and other aromatic

                materials, filtered them, added water and returned them

                to the still several times until she got just what she

                wanted. This is also the first known reference to the

                process of distillation and the first recorded still.”

  Another interesting note about the first gold coin was found on the search for the age of gold.

                “Lydian electrum trite (4.71g, 13x10x4 mm). This coin

                type, made of a gold and silver alloy, was in all likelihood

                the world's first, minted by Kin”

           “Lions have been considered kings of the jungle, and symbols

            of kingly authority, from time immemorial. One of the most

            fascinating coins of all time, a coin that is believe to be the first

             true coin, features one the most fascinating lions ever to appear

            on a coin. “

   Back to the story.

   What would the value of gold that was put into a Royal Family Treasure 600 years ago be worth today? Several billion Dollars? Maybe a trillion?

    MELVIN ZWICK knew immediately, after he translated the 93rd page, that he had a great challenge ahead of him.

  It was time for MELVIN ZWICK to put his tremendous detective talent to work.  Where should he start?

  The first question that came to mind was why the leather trunk was located in Bachi Bachi's attic protected by the ATTIC MONSTER?  How long had it been there?  Bachi Bachi's maiden name was Glowacki.  She was not a member of the Kowkarski family.  She would not be responsible to protect the Polish Royal Family Treasure.

   Maybe it was time to look at all the pages of the leather bound book again.  Maybe there might be a clue on one of the pages of that book. 

   MELVIN ZWICK picked up the ancient leather bound book and examined the front page.  Nothing there but faded Polish words written on yellowed paper.  He then turned over the leather bound book and looked at the back page.  Nothing there. 

   Casually he opened the back cover.  There was a clue.  A major clue.  On the back of the last page was a faint hand written note.  A note written in English. 

   MELVIN ZWICK immediately recognized the hand writing.  The note was written by Bachi Bachi.

   The writhing was so faint it could not be scanned into the computer. 

   They note written by Bachi Bachi said:

    "I purchased this leather bound book and leather trunk from a Polish lady on September 10, 1935 two days before my son Lee was born.  I felt sorry for her.

  Her family was getting ready to move when her husband was killed in a horrific car accident.  Mrs. Kowkarski did not have the funds necessary to pay for the burial of her husband.

  She said her husband had just removed the trunk from their judt before he left on his ill fated car trip.

   She said she did not know what the papers in the trunk revealed as her husband demanded no one know of the trunks contents.

   She was not Polish and could not read the pages.

   She did say the trunk was extremely old.  It had been in Mr.  Kowkarski’s family far longer than could be remembered. 

   Her 12 year old son told her that his Dad had told him the trunk had been in the Kowkarski family for more years that can be imagined.  He had been told that it was the Kowkarski family tradition to pass the trunk on to the next son when he became 21 years old. 

  The lady said the value was the trunk and not the stuff in it.  She could not see why the trunk had been passed down for so many years.

  MELVIN ZWICK knew how the leather trunk ended up in Bachi Bachi's possession. 

   MELVIN ZWICK also knew Mrs Kowkarski probably didn't find the Polish Royal Family Treasure.  If she had she would not be desperate to sell the leather trunk to have money to bury her husband.

   Did Bachi Bachi translate any of the faded yellow pages? She could speak Polish but could not read polish. 

   MELVIN ZWICK knew Bachi Bachi was a collector.  She probably thought the leather trunk with the gold colored trim was interesting.  He also knew that her house was so crowded that there was no room for the trunk in any of the rooms.

   So the trunk ended up in her attic with the ATTIC MONSTER.

   There was a major obstacle that faced MELVIN ZWICK.  He had a leather trunk that contained a certificate signed by a Kowkarski stating the family would keep and protect the Royal Polish Family Treasure for eternity.  But where was the Royal Family Treasure.  There were no gems or gold coins in the trunk.  There were only a leather bound book with Polish proclamations and 116 loose documents written in Polish and a gold trimmed leather trunk.

  The leather trunk had come down from Bachi Bachi’s attic.  The attic had massive webs in it.  The concentration of the webs were in the far corner away from the entrance trap door.

  MELVIN ZWICK thought he might have to enter the attic again. 

   But first MELVIN ZWICK needed to determine what made those massive webs.  A search on the Internet was called for.

   MELVIN ZWICK saddled up to his computer and hit the on button.  While his specially designed computer with it's several terabyte memories connected thru the either to a zillion sites warmed up he wondered where his search should start.

   He had a vision of those spider webs.  What was that vision.  Sometimes it was a vision of webs hanging in space.  Then it would be a vision of webs on a sheet of paper.  The vision was definitely of webs weather on paper of in space. 

   MELVIN ZWICK knew he had seen spider webs in space in the attic.  But where did he see spider webs on a page of paper? Had he seen a sheet of paper with webs drawn on it? The only papers he had observed recently were the 116 pages in the leather trunk.

   It was time to flip through those pages again.  Maybe the webs he had seen were on one of those pages.

   MELVIN ZWICK picked up the 116 pages and sat down in his leather recliner.  The computer search would have to wait.

   Before he could look at the first page, PEPE his 20 pound kitty jumped in his lap.  That was a tradition that started the first day PEPE the feral cat moved in and took over the house. PEPE the meanest outdoor Tom cat in the world was now PEPE the gentlest lap kitty in the world.

   MELVIN ZWICK knew it would be useless to tell PEPE to get down so he and PEPE would have to review the pages together.

   It would not be difficult to find the page he had visions of if it was in the stack.  The page would have a spider web drawn on it.

   MELVIN ZWICK and PEPE looked at page after page.  As he turned over page 89 he spotted what he was looking for.  The yellowed 89 page had a spider web drawn on it.  Below the web was a paragraph written in Polish.

   It was back to Google translate. 

   About an hour later MELVIN ZWICK had the translation.

   The paragraph in essence described a very rare massive spider that lived in a cave near Lodz, Poland.  In fact it was so rare it was the only spider of it type in the world. 

   It reproduced by itself.

   The spider would build a nest and fill it with spider eggs.

   The spider never left the cave because it knew it would die in the light of the sun or moon.  Electrical lighting did not affect an ATTIC MONSTER .

   The Polish translation noted the spider lived on a diet dust bunnies.  However the poison of it's bite would kill a human faster than a bite from a coral snake.  A person would have enough time to say "Ou.." before he died from it's bite.

   The webs were thick, sticky and strong enough to hold an Elephant.  The legend said the webs would not stick to metals.  The legend also stated that the webs were know to not stick to sheep’s wool.  Sheep had been know to live in the spiders den. 

   It seems that the sheep helped to feed the spider by stirring up dust bunnies. 

   The webs were so strong they would stretch when hit by a bullet than send the bullet back like a slingshot.  However they could be sliced with a razor sharp metal edge as easy as cutting a soft cotton rope.

   The paragraph also said only one egg would hatch when the parent massive spider died.  Once a spider set up housekeeping in an attic they and their offspring could live forever.

   The paragraph went on to say that a Kowkarski had stolen a egg from the spider and placed it in the leather trunk.  It was the Kowkarski’s plan to keep the leather trunk in the attic.  The spider egg would hatch and the resultant ATTIC MONSTER would protect the trunk forever.  It would lay additional eggs in the trunk so that there would always be a new spider to replace a dying spider. 

   The written word on the faded yellow page also said that the Kowkarski family men had an extremely secret formula of a gas that would dissolve the ATTIC MONSTER .  That chemical was created by an elder Kowkarski man when ever the trunk had to be moved.  The attic would be filled with the special gas and the resident attic monster would dissolve.  However the eggs in the trunk would be safe from the gas.

   Every time the trunk was relocated it would be placed in the attic of the new resident.  One egg would hatch and there would be a new ATTIC MONSTER protecting the Polish Royal Family Treasure.

  A computer search for the attic monster held lots of stories about mythical attic monsters but no scientific information on the attic monster mentioned on the faded yellow page.

   For at least 600 years the Kowkarski clan passed the word out that there was a monster in the attic.  The intent was to scare everyone away from entering the attic.  That legend grew thought-out the Polish world and eventually into the rest of the civilized world. 

   Practically every child was told never to crawl into the attic because the ATTIC MONSTER would catch them and eat them.

   MELVIN ZWICK was told of the ATTIC MONSTER by Bachi Bachi who was told the legend by her parents who learned it from their parents and so on.  For at least 600 years there really was only one ATTIC MONSTER in the whole world and that monster was in whatever attic the leather trunk was in. 

   The following short MELVIN ZWICK STORY illustrates how pervasive the legend of the ATTIC MONSTER was. 

   MEVIN ZWICK was in Grandpa’s attic installing a burglar alarm cable.  He was in the very corner of the attic where slope of the roof had brought it so low it forced him to lay down while working. The roofing nails poking through the roof slats were poking him in the back.  The space was so confined he had to lay down as he drilled a 1 inch hole into the wood cap on the cinder block wall.  The hole was drilled and MELVIN ZWICK poked the ½ inch cable into the hole.  The cable went in about 2 inches than stopped.  No effort of poking the cable into the hole produced a deep penetration more than about 2 inches. 

   That’s when MELVIN ZWICK made a mistake and stuck his right index finger into the hole with the intent of finding what obstacle was preventing the cable from being fed into the hole.  

   He found the cinder block wall partially blocked the hole.   If the cable was pressed against the east wall of the hole it would bypass the obstacle and could be fed through the hole into the wall then down to the alarm he was building.  

   That’s when MELVIN ZWICK, the most intelligent man in the world, realized he had made a terrible mistake.  

   Visualize drilling a hole in a fibrous wood beam.   As the drill passed down into the wood it leaves splinters poking down from the wall of the hole.   MELVIN ZWICK’S finger slid easily into the hole.   All the splinters hinged down.   As MELVIN ZWICK tried to pull his index finger out of the tight hole the tips of the splinters stuck in his finger.   As he tried to lift his finger out of the hole the splinters hinged upward making the hole smaller in diameter.   The more he pulled up on his finger the tighter the splinters hung on to his finger.  

   MELVIN ZWICK’S finger was grabbed in the equivalent of a child’s toy Chinese torture tube.  The harder he pulled the tighter his finger was held.

   MELVIN ZWICK the coolest man in the world started to sweat.  His first thought was how would anyone rescue him.  The fire department would have to cut a hole in the roof.  Grandpa the MELVIN ZWICK look alike would not be happy about that.   

   The neighbors would never let MELVIN ZICK the smartest man in the world forget how a little piece of wood had captured his finger. 

   Than the problem would be how to get his finger out of the hole. 

   Then he realized he had an even more serious problem.  No one knew he was in the attic.  Grandpa and Grandma were out of town for the week.

   Then he realized there was an even more pressing problem.  The only light he had with him was a battery powered flashlight that had fairly weak batteries when he entered the attic.  He remembered all the gory stories his grandma had told him about ATTIC MONSTER when he was a kid. 

   His first thoughts were not too serious but as the seconds ticked by he became more concerned.  Shortly MELVIN ZWICK, the bravest man in the world started to have bouts of slight fear. 

   In his mind he noticed the flashlight getting dimmer.  The thought was only in his mind because the light had many hours of brightness left.  MELVIN ZWICK knew that if the light failed the ATTIC MONSTER would pounced on him and eat him.

   But then MELVIN ZWICK the Karate master took hold of himself.  He started to analyze his finger in the hole situation.  He realized he could think his finger thinner. 

   MELVIN ZWICK closed his eyes and concentrated on getting his finger thinner.    

   After about a minute MELVIN ZWICK pulled up on his finger with ease.  The finger came free.  MELVIN ZWICK was free.  The ATTIC MONSTER would miss a meal of human today.

  All this story was interesting but it didn't tell MELVIN ZWICK where the Polish Royal Family Treasure was.
   MELVIN ZWICK the great detective needed a fresh start.  He determined the best bet in finding the Polish Royal Treasure was to start at the beginning.

   This treasure hunt started with the story of the ATTIC MONSTER living in the attic.   That led MELVIN ZWICK to enter the attic where he found massive spider webs.  After cutting his ways through the webs he found a leather trunk.  MELVIN ZWICK opened the trunk and found a bunch of faded yellow pages and a leather bound book.

   About that time his light started to fail.  As he left the attic with the trunk he felt some motion in the far corner of the attic. 

   Wait a minute.  MELVIN ZWICK'S memory flashed back to leaving the attic.  The motion in the far corner of the attic made him look in that direction.  He remembered catching a brief glimpse of a small object partially hidden behind the webs.

   Maybe that object was the Polish Family Royal Treasure.  A return trip to the attic was called for.

   Entering the attic again would mean MELVIN ZWICK would be facing the ATTIC MONSTER.  He would have to go into the farthest reaches of the attic, back into the dark where the ATTIC MONSTER lived.  MELVIN ZWICK is the bravest man in the world but facing the ATTIC MONSTER might call for backup.

   MELVIN ZWICK knew the bravest support he could call on were his grandson, ADELBERT MAARSCHALKERWEERD the great Kyle look alike, here after called ADELBERT with his trusty spear.

  The team would have to include KURCZAK ZBIERACKO the great Timothy look alike, here after called KURCZAK with his trusty BB gun.

   Surely UCHWYT Z KURCZAKA the great Joseph look alike here after called  UCHWYT with his try anything attitude would have to be included.

   The question was would CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY allow the boys to join MELVIN ZWICK on his venture into the realm of the ATTIC MONSTER in Tucson?

   The boys were very brave and good at defending their family.  KURCZAK just used his B-B gun to wiped out three massive bees that were terrorizing the Crossroads Country Ranch. 

   ADELBERT was noted for his bravery against viscous moles.  He had just defeated a fifty three pound mole.  It was entered in the Gunnies book of records as the largest mole known to man.  The mole had made a mad dash at ADELBERT when he was too close to the massive mole hole.  Only by quick reflexes was ADELBERT with his razor sharp spear able to stop the charging mole with his razor sharp teeth.  Razor sharp weapon against razor sharp weapon.  ADELBERT placed the back end of the spear against his thigh and lowered the blade.  The hapless mole ran right into the spear head.  The mighty ADELBERT won the battle. 

   If you look closely at the picture you will see a slash on the moles nose.  That cut was caused by the top of the spear as the lower edge went into the belly of the mole.

  The fast reflexes of ADELBERT with his razor sharp spear would be a tremendous asset on the entrance to the ATTIC MONSTER’S lair.

   So what to do.  The treasure awaited MELVIN ZWICK.  All he had to do was convince CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY to let the boys go on a dangerous adventure.

   On one of Grandpa's visit to the Crossroads Country Ranch MELVIN ZWICK had a opportunity to discuss the Royal Polish Treasure caper with MELVIN ZWICK’S 6' 3.5" grandson ADELBERT .

   MELVIN ZWICK gave ADELBERT a quick summary of the ATTIC MONSTER story.  ADELBERT thought for a while then recommended MELVIN ZWICK approach CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY with a story that Bachi Bachi's attic was in desperate need of being cleaned.  He would tell them that he intended to clean Bachi Bachi’s attic but needed help.  ADELBERT said the request was not a lie.  We would be cleaning Bachi Bachi's attic.

   The Crossroads Country Ranchers were known for freely giving their help to any friend who needed help.  It would be a natural for the boys to help MELVIN ZWICK clean BACHI BACHI’S attic.  Everyone thought her attic was filled with lots of stuff.  The boys could lift all the stuff out of the attic.

   ADELBERT said he would tell CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY that he, MELVIN ZWICK, and UCHWYT would also be going out for a little target practice.

   MELVIN ZWICK, the smartest person in the world could not think of a way to get CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY to allow the boys to go on a dangerous mission.  All of MELVIN ZWICK’S mental power produced no solution and ADELBERT the great Kyle look alike in a few minutes comes up with a simple solution.  Maybe ADELBERT is as smart as MELVIN ZWICK.

   A quick trip to the Crossroads Country Ranch and a meeting with CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY was the next step in capturing the most valuable treasure of the Royal family of Poland.

   As usual the Crossroads Country Ranch family treated MELVIN ZWICK with all the warmth and friendliness they were know for.  All visitors to the ranch are treated like honored guests even goofy MELVIN ZWICK.

   ADELBERT even made Monkey Bread for MELVIN ZWICK.  He did a great job.

   The girls were so busy in the kitchen MELVIN ZWICK could not keep tract of who creating cookies, pecan pie with chocolate chips, apple pie, corn bread, coffee cake and other delicious treats.  They all contributed to the hearty and delicious food that was presented.  Even COMPUTER GURU DADDY participated in the kitchen choirs.

   MELVIN ZWICK only knew he gained around 10 pounds during his 9 day visit.

   ADELBERT , KURCZAK and UCHWYT grabbed all of MELVIN ZWICK’S computers so they could play angry birds and road racing.

   Caroline played baseball with Allie.  She hit the ball so well she scored 5 runs without one out from Allie. 

   One morning ADELBERT hit the ball for Allie.  ADELBERT hit the ball down to the road over and over again.  Allie chased it as fast as a leaf blown in a 40 mile per hour gale.  She never quit until she came inside.  Then she laid down as flat as a pancake on her pillow.

   MELVIN ZWICK doing some early planning convinced the lovely Bowes girls to create sheep’s wool costumes for himself and the boys.  He had asked the girls to create wool outfits that would make the boys look like sheep.  The outfits had to cover the boys from head to toes.  There would even be a hood for the head that would have small slits for the eyes.

   MELVIN ZWICK would rely on the legend that the ATTIC MONSTER ’s webs would not stick to sheep wool.  The disguises might fool the ATTIC MONSTER into thinking several sheep had entered the attic to stir up some extra dust bunnies for its dinner.

   He convinced the girls that the outfits would be for a Halloween part he was planning on throwing in the near future.  The boys would go as wolves in sheep’s clothing.

   MELVIN ZWICK did it again.  What a great plan.

   It finally came time to leave.  MELVIN ZWICK put on his best straight face and asked CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY for the help of their three older boys.  He expressed his need of help cleaning out Bachi Bachi's attic.  The boys would be well compensated for their labor.  He would have them back in three days.  MELVIN ZWICK promised to take the boys to a Diamondback game.

   CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY promised to consider letting their boys go on the trip.  They would have an answer before the day ended.

   The boys each told their parents they would like to go.  That was all they said.  They would never question their parents decision.

   CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY told MELVIN ZWICK, on the day he was to leave, that the boys could go with him.  MELVIN ZWICK was delighted to hear the news.

   For some time there was a very weird feeling in MELVIN ZWICK’S back.  The feeling was like a feather running up and down his back.  He had the feeling during the days of his visit in Mossyrock.  He tried to ignore it but it was there all the time.

   The friendly visit with the ranchers over road the feeling but when things slowed down and MELVIN ZWICK was alone the feeling was there.

   WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It came to MELVIN ZWICK as he was planning on leaving Mossyrock for Phoenix.  Those semi-transparent balls in the leather trunk under the faded yellow pages must be……………………..  ATTIC MONSTER spider eggs.  They must be destroyed before the Boys eliminate the ATTIC MONSTER .  A dead ATTIC MONSTER would cause an egg to hatch and a new ATTIC MONSTER would be born.  That would not do.  Destroying the spider eggs in the trunk must be the first thing MELVIN ZWICK had to do on his return to Phoenix.

   The feeling on MELVIN ZWICK went away once he thought of the spider eggs.

   The trip to Portland with the Ranchers was great fun as usual.  Valerie read the final chapter of the book she had been reading to the group.  It was quite an adventure story.

   The boys arrived in Phoenix without any problems.  They picked up their luggage and headed to the passenger pick up stations.  People standing around the luggage carrousel must have wondered what ADELBERT was picking up.  His razor sharp spear was packed with KURCZAK ’S B-B gun in a very long shinny cardboard box.  One end of the box was enlarged to cover the head of the spear.

   The boys met grandpa and his truck at the passenger side of the terminal.  It was then off to Grandpa’s and the leather trunk and the spider eggs.

  The boys immediately went to the large leather trunk with the gold trim upon arriving at Grandpas.  MELVIN ZWICK opened the trunk lid.  There they were.  six round semi-transparent gold colored balls about the size of golf balls on the bottom of the trunk.

   The first question that came to MELVIN ZWICK was how to pick them up.  Were they sticky, squishy, smelly, cold, hot or what.

   Grandpa gave MELVIN ZWICK his BBQ tongs and a cardboard box.

   MELVIN ZWICK took the tongs and grabbed the first semi-transparent ball.  It   was not solid and not sticky.  It had the consistency of a partially filled water balloon.  MELVIN ZWICK dropped it into the cardboard box.  The remaining five semi-transparent balls entered the box in the same manner.

   The next question was how to transpose of the ATTIC MONSTER spider eggs.  KURCZAK came up with the solution.  The semi-transparent balls would make great targets for his B-B gun.  He could sharpen his aim for their trip to the ATTIC MONSTER’S lair.

   All six balls were lined up on the fence outside grandpa’s home. 

   KURCZAK cocked his B-B gun, took aim and let off a B-B.  The first ball on the left exploded with a loud pop that made everyone jump back in surprise.  They never expected the egg to explode.  The explosion sounded like an M-80 firecracker.

   Three more shots and three more explosions.  Four down and tow to go.  The explosion of the fifth semi-transparent ball caused the sixth one next ball to it to explode also.  That caused the boys to jump back. 

   The next day the intrepid hunters, armed to the teeth, drove to Bachi Bachi's house in Tucson ready to tackle the fearsome ATTIC MONSTER .  The two hour drive was filled with talk about how to get to the Polish Royal Family Treasure.

   Upon arriving at Bachi Bachi’s house a quick count of weapons was made.  KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike was carrying his trusty B-B gun.     ADELBERT the Great Kyle look alike showed off his large spear. 

   MELVIN ZWICK’S lesson on sharpening knives sure paid off.  ADELBERT had sharpened the tip of the spear to a razor sharp edge.  It would cut through the ATTIC MONSTER ’S webs like a hot knife cuts through butter.

   MELVIN ZWICK the great Grandpa look alike had his two razor sharp samurai swords.  UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike had his cell phone at the ready.

  MELVIN ZWICK opened a bag he had brought from Mossyrock.  It contained a little secret he had not told the boys.  He took out four sheep costumes and set them down before the boys. 

  MELVIN ZWICK told the boys to put on the sheep’s wool outfits.  ADELBERT looked at MELVIN ZWICK like he was crazy.  He had no intention of putting on a sheep costume. 

   MELVIN ZWICK explained that according to the Polish legend the ATTIC MONSTER’S webs do not stick to metal nor to sheep’s wool.  MELVIN ZWICK stated he had the girls make the sheep costumes for himself, ADELBERT , KURCZAK and UCHWYT.  They would prevent the ATTIC MONSTER’S webs from catching and holding the boys.  If the legend about the ATTIC MONSTER was true no one would be caught in her webs.  IF THE LEGEND WAS TRUE!!!!!!

   The boys slipped on the sheep costumes.  MELVIN ZWICK with his body covered with sheep’s wool and his swords looked like a weird Knight of old in one of C.  S.  Lewis‘s chapters of Narnia.  So did ADELBERT with his costume and spear.  KURCZAK ’S sheep costume and his B-B gun might confuse a casual observer.  He was part sheep and part Cowboy.

   The boys had a great belly laugh when they saw each other in the funny looking sheep’s costumes.  MELVIN ZWICK took out his trusty camera and took pictures of the boys and ADELBERT took a picture of MELVIN ZWICK.


  Left to right: MELVIN ZWICK the great Grandpa look alike, UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike, ADELBERT the great Kyle look alike and KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike.

  The did admit to each other that the girls did an excellent job in creating the costumes.  They all looked like sheep standing on their hind legs.  The only thing that spoiled the images was the weapons the boys were carrying.

   UCHWYT was given instructions to observe the action from the entrance to the attic and call 911 on his cell phone incase the boys ran into trouble.

   The adventure began by placing Bachi Bachi's rickety step ladder under the trap door leading to the attic.

   The plan was simple.  Everyone would head to the corner where the Polish Royal Family Treasure was expected to be. 

   That would require getting through the ATTIC MONSTER’S webs then over the monster herself.  ADELBERT the great Kyle look alike with his massive mole slaying spear and KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike would follow MELVIN ZWICK’S flashing samurai sword to the creature's lair. 

   It should be noted at this point that Melvin Zwick possessed samurai swords brought to life be Muramasa the master sword maker in 1534AD.  They were carried by the famous Miyamoto Musashi c.  1584 - 1645 the most famous Japanese swordsman and ronin of Japan.

   The swords were priceless as they were created by the Master sword maker Muramasa and carried my Mushasi.

   There is legend that Muramasa challenged his master teacher Masamune to see who could make a finer sword.

   To test the swords, each sword was held into the current of a stream.  Muramasa's sword was said to have cut a leaf in half that simply touched the blade from the current alone.  But the master Masamune's sword did not cut a thing, with the leaves miraculously avoiding it at the last second, as if to show it possessed a benevolent power that would not harm anything that was innocent or undeserving- even a simple leaf.
   MELVIN ZWICK had brought bright flood lights that would disorientate the monster.

 Once the creature attacked it would be MELVIN ZWICK'S task to remove her legs as KURCZAK shot her one eye out. ADELBERT would send his spear into the body of the creature once Melvin Zwick removed its legs so it could not deflect the spear throw.


   Melvin Zwick shouted, "Let's go boys" after a brief prayer for good hunting.

   The attic was filled with spider webs as thick as 1/4 nylon ropes.

   MELVIN ZWICK’S samurai swords flashed as fast as lightening as they cut a path into the attic proper.  It became obvious that the webs did not stick to metal or wool as they slid off his samurai swords and his wool covered body.  An area around the attic entrance was cleared in a very brief time.

   MELVIN ZWICK set up the flood lights once the area around the attic entrance was cleared.  The light was initially blinding but MELVIN ZWICKS eyes adjusted rapidly.

   He could sense motion in the far corner of the attic.  The webs were so thick in that corner the light never reached the far wall. 

   Melvin Zwick heard a faint noise in that corner.  So faint it was almost inaudible.  It was sort of a slight clicking noise similar to a fork being tapped against a glass.

   MELVIN ZWICK called down to the boys.  "Come on up boys.  The ATTIC MONSTER is waiting for us."

   KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike with his B-B gun at the ready was next into the attic followed by ADELBERT and his massive spear.  UCHWYT great Joseph look alike with his cell phone would climb the ladder high enough so he could watch the action.  His job would be to call 911 incase there was a problem between the boys and the ATTIC MONSTER . 

   When the boys were in place MELVIN ZWICK started cutting his way to the ATTIC MONSTER’S lair.  The ATTIC MONSTER must have been extremely puzzled when she saw a sheep cutting its way into her lair.  In the past sheep only stirred up dust bunnies to sooth it massive appetite.  Now one sheep was cutting its way through the webs and was headed directly to her.

   One might wonder why no one carried any fire arms.  There was a good reason for that. 

   The ATTIC MONSTER s webs were so strong a bullet hitting them would cause the web to turn into a slingshot and send the bullet back at the firer.  It would be extremely dangerous to fire a bullet at the ATTIC MONSTER with all the webs around her.

   The webs might be immune to bullets but they were not immune to very sharp metal instruments like MELVIN ZWICKS samurai swords or the massive mole slayer spear ADELBERT was carrying.

   The stirring in the corner became more active.  The clicking noise became much louder and at a more rapid sequence.  MELVIN ZWICK the great band master recognized the beat of the clicking noise.  The beat was around 180 clicks a minute.  That is almost as fast as a person can count.

   The ATTIC MONSTER must have realized that this time the sheep meant to do her some harm.

   The clinking noise grew louder as MELVIN ZWICK cut his way to the corner.  The webs became thicker and thicker.  But they were no match for the Samurai swords that was created by Muramasa in 1534AD.  The Swords that Musashi carried into all of his many battles were now wielded by MELVIN ZWICK the great sword master.  The many years of studying under the best sword masters in Japan was now paying off.

   The Polish Royal Families Most Valuable Treasure was about to be transferred to the hands of the valiant boys.

   MELVIN ZWICK was so busy slashing the webs at waist level he didn’t notice the ATTIC MONSTER’S leg that had slid out from under the webs and wrapped itself around his right leg.  The ATTIC MONSTER yanked the leg back with a tremendous force pulling MELVIN ZWICK’S feet out from under him.  MELVIN ZWICK landed on his bottom side in a sitting position.  The monster was pulling MELVIN ZWICK on his bottom towards the her lair.  As fast as the sitting MELVIN ZWICK slashed the webs he could not reach the monsters leg.  He was being slowly dragged back into the corner, right into the lair of the great ATTIC MONSTER . 

   ADELBERT leaped into action.  He thrust his long sharp spear through the web towards what he thought might be the ATTIC MONSTER’S heart.  The well thrust spear traveled into the webs a couple of feet than it hit something solid with a loud “thunk.” The spear had hit a support beam.

   ADELBERT pulled the spear back again as MELVIN ZWICK was being pulled toward the ATTIC MONSTER itself.  It would only be a few seconds before MELVIN ZWICK would be under the venomous fangs of the ATTIC MONSTER .  Their quest for the Royal Polish Most Valuable Treasure was in jeopardy.  It might end in an instant if the venom hit any part of MELVIN ZWICK.

   The razor sharp mole killing spear was thrust again in the direction of the ATTIC MONSTER by ADELBERT .  This time it slashed through the web into something solid but giving.  There was a loud screech from the direction of the ATTIC MONSTER’S lair. 

    The noted mole killing spear must have hit the ATTIC MONSTER.  But it still was dragging MELVIN ZWICK towards its sharp poisonous fangs. 

  The ATTIC MONSTER was sending another leg through the webs towards ADELBERT . 

    KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike noticed the ATTIC MONSTER had cleared a narrow tunnel through the webs through which it could look at ADELBERT as it sent its leg towards him.

    KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike lets off a well aimed round from his trusty BB gun into the ATTIC MONSTER’S one eye.

    The monster screamed again as its eyelid closed.  The eyelid opened again but it was obvious by the action of its searching, flailing leg it could not see ADELBERT the great Kyle look alike.  ADELBERT pulled the great mole slayer spear back and thrust it again and again.  The ATTIC MONSTER screeched each time ADELBERT made a strong thrust. 

     The intensity of the screeching became less with each spear thrust.  The massive mole slaying spear must have been having the desired affect on the ATTIC MONSTER.  She was slowly passing on.

   While ADELBERT was thrusting the massive mole slayer spear at the ATTIC MONSTER, MELVIN ZWICK was cutting his way through the webs as he was being slowly dragged towards the lethal ATTIC MONSTER’S poisonous fangs. 

   MELVIN ZWICK finally discovered what the clicking noise was.  The ATTIC MONSTER was snapping her fangs together.  At this close range the noise was extremely loud. 

   With a swipe of the ultra sharp samurai sword he cut himself loose from the ATTIC MONSTER just as her poisonous fang started down towards his trapped legs.  With a second massive swing of one of his samurai swords he sent the tips of the ATTIC MONSTER’S fangs sailing back deeper into the lair. 

   Another hazard immediately presented itself.  The venom from the ATTIC MONSTER’S fangs was pouring out of her venom glands and falling to the floor.  The venom was so acidic it immediately started eating holes in the floor where ever the drops fell.  One drop on MELVIN ZWICK’S leg would make his leg inoperable forever and might even send him on his way.  There would be no time for an antidote. 

   As MELVIN ZWICK snapped back his leg, which was still wrapped by the chopped off portion of the ATTIC MONSTER’S leg, several drops of the venom fell on the wool costume MELVIN ZWICK was wearing.  The venoms acid content started to eat its way through the wool MELVIN ZWICK was wearing.

   MELVIN ZWICK immediately cut off the wool contaoning the venom making sure none of the acid venom fell on his exposed pant leg and eventually his skin.  As he did so he was extremely careful not to expose any of his wool uncovered self to the webs.  It would do no good to have his legs trapped in the ATTIC MONSTER’S webs. 

   The ATTIC MONSTER gave one terrifying scream as MELVIN ZWICK’S samurai sword slashed completely through her body leaving two wiggling parts on the attic floor writhing in her own venom.  As MELVIN ZWICK did so he could seen many of the slashes ADELBERT had made with his massive mole slaying spear.

   The ATTIC MONSTER would never scare anyone again.  Her eggs which had been in the leather trunk were no more.  They had been exploded with KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike well aimed B-B shots.  There would be no new ATTIC MONSTER. 

  The next project was to find the Polish Royal Family Treasure the ATTIC MONSTER and the senior Kowkarski male members had been protecting and hiding for around 600 years. 

   MELVIN ZWICK with his samurai sword and ADELBERT with his massive mole slaying spear finished cutting down all the remaining ATTIC MONSTER’S webs. 

   KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike called out saying he noticed the cut webs were not sticking to the floor.  He said he tested the cut webs stickiness and found it lacking.  ADELBERT the great Kyle look alike checked the webs out.  The boys came to the conclusion the webs lost their power stick to things the second they were cut.

   All the webs were cut and pushed out of the way. 

  MELVIN ZWICK stated getting the queasy feeling up and down his back.  Why was that happening now.  They had just eliminated the ATTIC MONSTER, cut all the webs making them shrivel up and become non-sticky.  All the boys had to do was find the Polish Royal Family Treasure.  That should not make his back start feeling queasy again.  What was the cause?  As he was busy checking things out the feeling became more intense.  WHY?  The boys had even eliminated the spider eggs in the trunk.  Then the cause of the queasy feeling became clear.  There were probably more eggs in the attic some place.  When the ATTIC MONSTER lost the trunk with her eggs she probably created a few more in the attic.

   MELVIN ZWICK immediately told UCHWYT to look for some gold colored transparent balls.  They probably were somewhere along the edge of the attic far away from the trap door.

  UCHWYT immediately started his quest.  Within minutes he yelled out he had found a nest.  Before he could say anything more he stomped his foot down on the attic floor.


They looked down and found a spider about the size of a saucer squished flat against the attic floor.  While they were viewing the squished baby ATTIC MONSTER another eggs started to jiggle.  Within a few seconds a new ATTIC MONSTER was born.  KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike did the stomping this time.  The boys liked like they were dancing a jig the stomped ATTIC MONESTER after ATTICMONSTER baby as they were being born.  It took about twelve stomps to flatten all the newborn ATTIC MONSTERS.

  MELVIN ZWICK asked KURCZAK and UCHWYT to thoroughly check all the attic.  He didn’t want to take any chances that a new attic monster would be born and take over the attic.

   It was time to put the ATTIC MONSTER scare to bed.  It would probably take a generation or two before the ATTIC MONSTER myth would fade into oblivion.

   The boys decided they should remove their sheeps wool costumes.  They suits made the boys extremely hot in the heat of the battle.  Anyone who wears a sheep wool sweater knows how warm they can be.

  I, MELVIN ZWICK wonders how warm a sheep gets.  But that another story better answered by the Crossroads Country Ranch Sheep raiser, Miss Lydia.

   The boys had worked up quite a sweat under the sheep wool costumes.  They were soaking wet.  The evaporation of the sweat caused them to cool rapidly.  That felt good. 

   MELVIN ZWICK moved the flood lights towards the ATTIC MONSTER’S corner.  Nothing.  The floor was bare except for slowly shrinking pieces of web.  Then it dawned on KURCZAK there was a large amount of floor covered by the bottom of the ATTIC MONSTER .  The boys made an attempt to move the lower half of the ATTIC MONSTER.  It was too heavy for them to move. 

   ADELBERT and MELVIN ZWICK proceeded to slice the ATTIC MONSTER into smaller bits to reduce its weight as KURCZAK and UCHWYT look for more eggs. 

   When the remaining portion of the ATTIC MONSTER had been reduced to a light weight MELVIN ZWICK slipped the flat edge of his samurai sword under it and flipped it over.  There it was.  A small beautiful inlaid wood box trimmed by gold ribs.  It was about 8 inches by 6 inches.

   It surely could not contain much gold.  Maybe it contained diamonds, rubies and emeralds.

   MELVIN ZWICK, studied it to insure there was not any ATTIC MONSTER venom on it.  After all the boys had been through it would be terrible to end the day with a drop of ATTIC MONSTER venom on exposed skin.  That would be a terrible way to end this days great adventure and maybe ones life.

   The box was free of web and venom. 

   MELVIN ZWICK gently, but with great excitement picked the small box up.  It was way too light to contain any large amount of gold or gems.

   The box seemed to have no hinges or opening edges.  The box was edged with what looked like gold trim.  The box looked to be solid.  Could it be the Polish Royal Family Treasure was nothing but a solid wood box.  It was a beautiful box but highly valuable it was not. 

   MELVIN ZWICK gently shook it.  There was a slight sound of something moving inside the box.  The sound was not that of something hard and solid.

   That meant the Polish Royal Family treasure was a puzzle box. 

   What better person to open the puzzle box than MELVIN ZWICK.  He was a master of solving puzzles.  There was no puzzle he could not solve. 

   He was a master at designing puzzle boxes and building them.

   He loved the challenge of designing puzzle boxes.  The smell of fresh cut wood just heightened the joy of building puzzle boxes.

   ADELBERT knew the joy of working with wood.  He had just helped Kyle build a great dog house for a friend.

   The attic was no place to solve the box puzzle.  MELVIN ZWICK needed a   powerful light and at least a 10 power lens to examine the box.  It can take up to 30 separate moves to open some puzzle boxes.

   The Polish Royal Family Treasure box was wrapped in a part of ADELBERT soft jacket.  CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA would not complain about using his jacket to protect the Polish Royal Family Treasure.

   It would be ADELBERT responsibility to not let the Polish Royal Family Treasure box out of his sight.  He formed his jacket into a belly pack and placed the box in it.  That pack would not leave his person until the boys were in the Crossroads Country Ranch.

   Opening the box would have to wait.  It was time to take the boys back to Mossyrock.

  It would be getting dark soon.  The boys needed to get to the airport.

  KURCZAK and UCHWYT found not more eggs.  The ATTIC MONSTER myth would forever die as the boys left the attic.

   On the way to the airport the boys had to pass through a shady part of town.  There was a detour which took the boys of the main road.  The detour leaded the adventurers down a very dark street surrounded by warehouses.  It did not look good.

   The boys adventure had not ended yet.

   Three shady looking characters came up to the van while it was stopped at a traffic light.  One had a pistol in his hand.  He ordered the boys out of the van.  Little did the bad guys realize that they had just made a tremendous mistake.  Taking on the adventures who had just wiped out an extremely poisonous spider was something that was the best of ideas.  Especially MELVIN ZWICK the fifth degree Black Belt in Shotokan Karate.  His hands were so fast he could break a 1x12x6 pine board in mid air after he dropped it from about shoulder height.  Very few Karate masters can do that.

   The three bad guys all wore leather jackets with an emblem of a character with a pitchfork emblazoned on the back.  They appeared to belong to some gang.

   The boys got out as ordered.  They were ordered to move against the wall of the building on the corner.  They did as commanded.  It was not yet time to let the thugs  feel the vengeance of the ATTIC MONSTER killers.

   The bad guy with the gun made the mistake of standing in front of MELVIN ZWICK.

  The boys were not about to be shot and killed after all they had been through.  They would give up what ever the thugs wanted other than their lives, the Polish Royal Family Treasure box, the samurai swords or the Mole Slayer Spear.  The thugs would make a terrible mistake if they attempted to get any of those things.  They would have more violence rain down on their heads than one could ever could imagine. 

    The thugs told the boys they must pay a fee for traveling on the Knights of Satin’s road.  They said the road and neighborhood belonged to the Knights of Satin. 

   One of the bad characters ordered the boys to empty their pockets. 

   MELVIN ZWICK told the boys to comply with the command.  The loss of a few dollars was not worth fighting for.  The bad guys had not threatened to take any of the very valuable treasures yet.

   Two of the thugs approached the boys and collected the contents of their pockets.

  After collecting all the money one thug stepped in front of ADELBERT and another stepped in front of  UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike, KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike.

   The bad guy with the pistol started a discussion with his partners as to whether or not he should plug the boys.  The situation was getting worse.  The thugs were laughing and taunting the boys threatening to kill them.  The Knights were slapping the boys faces calling them cowards.

   One of the Knights of Satin punched MELVIN ZWICK in the stomach.  This punch was nothing compared to the many punches he had received in his many martial art classes.

   The thug in front of ADELBERT ordered him to give up the belly pack. 

   ADELBERT was not about to give up the Polish Royal Family Treasure.   The thug pulled a knife and threatened slice ADELBERT.  He would do some carving on him if he didn’t give him the belly pack.

   ADELBERT remembered some of the self defense techniques MELVIN ZWICK had taught him,  “When a bad guy threatens you, you treat him like a snake and put him down hard.”

   He looked over at MELVIN ZWICK and did a slight nod to alert him that things were about to start. 

   MELVIN ZWICK got the message.

  MELVIN ZWICK needed to prepare to attack.  He would have to time his action with ADELBERT’S attack.  The first target of MELVIN ZWICK’S action would have to be the Knights of Satin guy with the pistol.  He was close enough that he would not be able to react to any action MELVIN ZWICK might take. 

   MELVIN ZWICK taunted the gun toting bad guy with the expectation the guy would move even closer to him and threaten him with gun.

   It worked.  The gun toting thug stepped forward and poked MELVIN ZWEICK in the belly with the pistol.

   MELVIN ZWICK gave ADELBERT a quick nod to tell him to go ahead and blast the thug in front of him.

   Things happened in a flash. 

   ADELBERT got the message and kicked the thug in the groin then slide stepped to the side of the bad guy, than slash the edge of his right hand down on the bad guys neck as he was bent over in pain from the kick.  The bad guy went down like a dropped sack of potatoes and laid there completely still face down on the street.

   MELVIN ZWICK used to break river rocks for fun with the same hand technique ADELBERT used on the bad guys neck. 

  The bad guy would not wake soon.

ADELBERT being the gentleman he was apologized to MELVIN for taking brutal action against a fellow man. 

   MELVIN ZIWCK said no apologizes were necessary as he sized up the fellow with the gun in front of him.  He had to react rapidly as ADELBERT had started the action.

   It is a know fact in the Martial arts world that a trained person could take a gun away from a bad guy before the bad guy could pull the trigger. 

   The defender in his mind would decide what action to take and when.  He then would make a move to disarm the bad guy. 

   The bad guy would not know any action is coming.  He has to see see the action the victim is taking.  The time it takes for the bad guy to see the action, think that he needs to react, then order his finger to pull the trigger is far longer than it takes the defender to act and remove the pistol.

   MELVIN ZWICK had practiced this scenario many times in his many years in the best Dojos in the world.  In practice in the Dojo the attacker used water pistols with the intent of squirting the defender with water from the pistol.  A wet Gi (official karate training uniform) meant the attacker had succeeded in shooting the defender.  The goal of the session was to go home with a dry Gi.

   All MELVIN ZWICK had to do was decide which of the many technique he would use to disarm the bad guy.

   The bad guy with the gun made it easy for MELVIN ZWICK to decide on the action he needed to take.  The fellow jammed the pistol again into MELVIN ZWICK’S belly just as ADELBERT jumped into action.  That was a very bad mistake for the bad guys. 

   The attacker held the pistol in his right hand. 

   MELVIN ZWICK snapped down and grabbed the pistol from above with his right hand so that his little finger was under the hammer of the pistol.  The grabbing of the pistol may seem awkward.  The bottom edge of the hand is facing the bad guy.

   Even if the bad guy pulled the trigger the hammer could not fall on the firing pin because MELVIN ZWICK’S little finger was in the way.

   MELVIN ZWICK reached up with his left hand and grabbed the underside of the attackers hand and pistol.  With both hands he twisted the pistol 180 degrees clockwise and pulled it back towards his body as he stepped back.  The action caused the trigger guard to break the bad guys trigger finger and nearly sever it from his hand. 

   Just for a moment imagine your right trigger finger on the trigger in the trigger guard.  Now imagine rotating the firearm 180 degrees clockwise as the weapon is pulled away from you.  The finger is caught in the housing .  The front edge of the trigger guard is not real sharp but imagine the damage it would do to the trigger finger as it is rotated into the back of the finger. 

   The screech of the wounded bad guy was so loud it could be heard for miles.  As the pistol was pulled back it mangled the trigger finger of the bad guy. 

   The bones in the finger would be shattered leaving the finger hanging by tendons and skin.  Not a pretty sight but remember the bad guy had threatening to shoot MELVIN ZWICK.  The trigger finger would be so badly damaged it would never be able to function in the future.

   MELVIN ZWICK now had the pistol.

   In all the action MELVIN ZWICK did not notice that UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike, KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike had each kicked the shin of the third bad guy.  After kicking him in the chin they stomped down on his feet.  As he was howling in pain they snapped his ears.  That bad guy was on his knees howling in pain.  It was a good bet several bones in his feet were broken and his ear drums were collapsed.  He might never hear rap music again.

   The bad guys never knew what hit them.  The ATTIC MONSTER slayers had struck again.

  MELVIN ZWICK ordered the Knights of Satin to stand up.

  The one guy ADELBERT had kicked and hit just barely picked himself off the ground. The fellow that had been in front of UCHWYT and  KURCZAK just knelt there howling.  It was obvious with his shattered ear drums he could not hear MELVIN ZWICKS command.

  MELVIN ZWICK ordered the other two bad guys to help their buddy up.

   The ATTIC MONSTER slayers now discussed what to do next. 

  The correct action would be to turn the bad guys over to the police but they knew they had to get back to Mossyrock.  That meant they did not have time to spend turning these bad guys over to the police.  It might be difficult for MELVIN ZWICK to explain what the boys had been doing in Bachi Bachi’s attic.  The police might try to retain the Polish Royal Family Treasure box, the samurai swords and the mole slaying spear as evidence.  That would not do.

   That meant the boys had to leave the bad guys without any police action.  But the thugs needed to be taught a lesson.  The pain they had received was not enough to teach them a good lesson.  They might let their wounds heal than return to their old ways.

   The gun toting guy had already learned a lesson.  The pain of his damaged finger was immense.  The damaged finger would never function again.

  The guy that ADELBERT had attacked would have tremendous pain in his neck for the rest of his life.  Maybe a chiropractor might be able to straightened his neck out.  

   The bad guy in front of UCHWYT and  KURCZAK would probably never hear well again and might have to hobble on broken feet for the rest of his life. 

   Yes the bad guys who thought they were tough guys.  They probably had been tormenting the neighborhood.  But they went down to their knees in front of the ATTIC MONSTER slayers.

   MELVN ZWICK decided to take the following action. His plan was to make the thugs never torment anyone.  He would cause the boys to be GREATLY embarrassed.  He ordered them to strip down to their birthday suits.  After they were stripped MELVIN ZWICK ordered the thugs to back against the chain link fence next to the building.  He ordered them to spread their arms out away from their bodies. 

   He had the boys strip the shoe laced from the bad guys shoes.  He then told the boys to use the shoe laces to tie the bad guys fingers to the chain link fence.  After the thugs were tied to the fence the boys put blindfolds on the thugs faces and stuffed socks in their mouths.  That way they would see no one or be able to yell for help.

   This would leave the bad guys blind and spread eagled with their butts against the fence, their bare front side for all to see.   There would be no way they could free themselves. 

   MELVIN ZWICK figured they would be found by decent folks on their way to work the next morning.  The decent folk of the neighborhood probably hated the Knights of Satin and would love to see these boys so encumbered.  Because the thugs were blindfolded they could not see the decent folk laughing at them and tormenting them.  The good folks of the neighborhood could release some of their pent up anger against the thugs and the Knights could not take any reprisals.  The decent folk could torment the bad guys for a while before any of their fellow Knights of Satin would be out of bed to rescue them.

   The adventurers would leave them there to be found by the neighbors.  Their embarrassment would be so great they would have to leave the neighborhood. 

   The neighbors would say hallelujah for the trouble makers leaving.  Good riddance to bad rubbish they would say.

   It was on to Mossyrock as the boys climbed back into the van leaving the bad guys spread eagled against the fence mumbling for mercy.

  The plan was to catch a flight from Tucson direct to Portland. 

   One more challenge existed.  How to get MELVIN ZWICK’S priceless samurai swords and ADELBERT massive mole slayer spear back home.

   Airlines frown on allowing weapons on board passenger aircraft. 

   The samurai swords were too valuable to ship or have the airlines luggage handlers handle them. 

   MELVIN ZWICK, the renown adventurer and secret agent for the Government had special waivers to carry weapons on aircraft.  The waivers had been granted by the CIA to allow him to carry weapons on flights while he was on special secret missions for the Government. 

   The samurai sword and the mole killing spear and B-B gun would be placed in a secure carrier provided by the airlines.  The carrier is sealed by an agent at the check in station.  Once sealed the carrier can be carried on the aircraft by MELVIN ZWICK.

   It is impossible to open the case unless you know the combination of the lock which is a secret and held by the airlines.

   Little do the airlines know that MELVIN ZWICK, the master lock picker can open the case in less than 10 seconds.
   But that’s another story.  On to Mossyrock.

   The flight was uneventful.  The boys were all anxious to open the box and determine what the Polish Royal Family Treasure was.  What could be so valuable in the small box that would require the Kowkarski family members to guard it for 600 years?  That determination would have to wait until MELVIN ZWICK could sit down at the Crossroads Country Ranch and concentrate on opening the box. 

   The aircraft landed smoothly after a very smooth flight.  It was downloaded in a very rapid manner.

   The entire Crossroads Country Ranchers were at the Portland airport to meet the heroes of the ATTIC MONSTER adventure.  There were lots of hugs and kisses all around. 

   Everyone was anxious to see the Polish Royal Family Treasure but it was decided that it would be best to keep it hidden in KURCZAK jacket.  Something so valuable should not be exposed to the general public.

   The two hour trip to Mossyrock from the Portland airport seemed to last no more that a few minutes as the Boys related their adventure in the attic to the Ranchers.     

   The best description of the entire adventure was given by UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike.  He was best pone to describe the adventure as was standing on the ladder high enough to see all the action.  His description was complete in every detail.  He even related all the words the boys shouted as they fought the ATTIC MONSTER. 

   MELVIN ZWICK saying, “The legend of the ATTIC MONSTER’S webs not sticking to wool is true.  We can get after the ATTIC MONSTER .  Come on boys the ATTIC MONSTER waits for us.”

   ADELBERT the great Kyle look alike shouting to MELVIN ZWICK, “The ATTIC MONSTER has your leg MELVIN.  I’ll see if I can distract it by sending my Mole Slaying Spear into its heart.”  “Watch out for the fangs.”

 KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike shouting, “I can see the ATTIC MONSTER’S eye.  Let me get a shot with my trusty B-B gun.”

   Everyone had a great big laugh when UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike let loose with his best imitation of the ATTIC MONSTER ’S scream when she was hit by ADELBERT Mole Slaying Spear and KURCZAK well placed B-B in her eye.” The sound was like that of the howl a cat lets out when its tail is stepped on.  Only it was at least a hundred times louder.  UCHWYT re-enactment of the sound was given quick shutoff as the sound was deafening.

   The group really let out a big belly laugh when MEIVIN ZWICK demonstrated how the boys had done a jig stomping the baby ATTIC MONSTERS.  MELVIN ZWICK really looked funny dancing a jig.

   The Ranchers really laughed when the boys told them about the bad guys and how they had been tied to the fence after they had been stripped to their birthday suits.  Those thugs really let out a muffled howl when they were left in their condition. 

   The first thing the group did on arriving at the Ranch was to have a hearty dinner.  What more could MELVIN ZWICK ask for other than White Chili and Corn Bread.  There was monkey bread and Pecan pie with added in chocolate chips.  What a dinner the girls had prepared for the great ATTIC MONSTER slayers.

  The Crossroads Country Ranchers are the bestest Chefs in the world.  They belong on a cooking show on TV.

   UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike, MELVIN ZWICK the great Grandpa look alike and KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike and monkey bread the lady ranchers made for the boys in celebration of their great adventure.

   The table was cleaned and the dishes were washed.  All the ranchers sat down at the dinning table as MELVIN ZWICK removed the beautiful wooden box from ADELBERT soft jacket where it had laid hidden since it was placed there when the boys were in the lair of the now deceased ATTIC MONSTER .

   A table lamp was set up next to MELVIN ZWICK.  He pulled out his 10 power magnification lens and started to examine the box.  It was not long before MELVIN ZWICK the great puzzle solver had spotted all the well hidden joints of the box.

   Puzzle boxes are thought to have been developed in Japan around 1870.  If the legend of the Kowkarski family guarding a Polish Royal Family Treasure is true this box on the Ranchers table was at least 600 years old.  This Polish box had to be a lot older than any Japanese puzzle box. 

   Puzzle boxes are opened by sliding various pieces of the walls of the box in a sequential order.

   The first piece is moved a short distance.  If the move is correct a second piece is unlocked which allows it to be moved a short distance.  If the move of the second piece is correct a third piece may be moved.  This process is followed by moving as many as six pieces a short distance.  The sequence may be repeated several times.  Piece may be moved three times before the box is opened.  If any piece is moved incorrectly the process is stopped until that piece is correctly moved.

   The exact sequence has to be followed in order to allow the lid to be slid open.

   MELVIN ZWICK started by trying to slide one end strip.  It did not take long before he found the first strip the could be moved  He slid that piece a short distance to the right.  He looked for a second strip that should be unlocked so it could be moved.  Nothing.  Apparently he had slid the first piece either too far or not enough.  He moved that piece back a slight distance.  The search for the second piece began again.  This time the strip below the first piece slid down.  MELVIN ZWICK moved the bottom piece a short distance.

   MELVIN ZWICK attempted to move all the various strips he had discovered.  Again nothing.  He moved the bottom piece down a little farther.  The search for the third piece started again.  This time the lid move a short distance.

   The lid moved in the open direction on the third, ninth, fifteenth move.  The treasure in the box was wrapped in a heavy leather wrapper.  It could not be removed from the box until the box was fully opened.

   The process of moving a strips a short distance was followed until MELVIN ZWICK had made 21 moves.  On the twenty first move the lid slid fully open.  The box was now open.  The wrapped treasure in the box was now free to be removed.
  All the ranchers stood up and leaned forward to try to get a glimpse of the great Polish Royal Family Treasure that had been in the treasure box for around 600 years. 

   Just a side note: MELVIN ZWICK made the following drawing to illustrate the moves that were required to open the Polish Royal Family Treasure box.  The moves of the strips are made in the sequence shown.

   With great anxiety and excitement MELVIN ZWICK lifted out the contents of the box.  What would the Polish Royal Family Treasure be.  It was obvious from the weight of the treasure that it was not gold or gems. 

   There was a fine sheep’s wool cord wrapped several time around the leather item.  MELVIN ZWICK untied the wool knot and unwrapped the cord. 

   The cord was set aside for the time being.  It would eventually end up in fine package put together by CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and the Lady Ranchers to commemorate the adventure.  The cord, box, sheep costumes, photos and other items of the ATTIC MONSTER raid would be carefully documented and stored in a very professional manner.  That would become the Crossroads Country Ranchers Great Treasure that would be shared with future generations of the Ranchers.

  The Polish Royal Family Treasure appeared to be a rolled up piece of very thin leather.  Maybe there was a map locating the Polish Royal Family Treasure drawn on the leather strip.  They only way to find out if there was a treasure map drawn on the leather was to unroll it. 

   The Ranchers and the Boys were talking to themselves and each other as MELVIN ZWICK started to unroll the leather strip.  All were wondering what the strip of thin leather might reveal.  A map to a treasure.  Some secret to a hidden message.  WHAT?????????????

   “COME ON MELVIN ZWICK UNROLL THE STRIP” seemed to be the general comments from the family.

   MELVIN ZWICK slipped the back edge of his ever present pocket knife under the edge of the rolled up leather strip and carefully lifted it up.  MELVIN ZWICK was not sure how well the leather strip had weathered the 600 years it had been in existence so he handled every step with great care.

   The lifted up portion seemed to be very flexible.  MELVIN ZWICK took the roll and the lead edge and placed it on the center of the table.

   He then started to slowly roll the leather coil away from the lead edge. 

   The family in unison let out a gasp as words started to appear on the exposed leather strip.  What did the exposed words say? They were written in Polish.

 MELVIN ZWICK decided it best to translate the words before any further unrolling was accomplished.

 The following very faint words were seen on the start of the leather roll. 



   Informacje w tym dokumencie NIE być ujawniane nikomu poza POLSKI CZŁONKÓW rodziny królewskiej i ich pracowników do gotowania.

   Każdy użytkownik przyłapany udostępnieniem takiej informacji do nie POLSKIEGO PAŃSTWA ROYAL YFAMILY zostanie wysłana na szubienicę.


   Kyle whipped out a pencil and immediately copied the message on the back of the handiest piece of paper he found.  The paper just happened to be a drawing UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike drew of the ATTIC MONSTER.

   Everyone proof read Kyle’s written words to insure he had copied the message correctly.  As precise as Kyle is the proofreading was really not necessary.  Kyle did not make mistakes.

   Lydia fired up her computer and brought up GOGGLE translate and typed in the words of the message.  Instantly the translation of the Polish message showed up. 

  Everyone gave out the cry, ‘What does the message say.”

   Lydia read the translation showing on the screen. 




   That set everyone back.  “SENT TO THE GALLOWS.” WHOA wait a minute.  The thought of the gallows turned everyone cold.  What message could be so secret that the Polish Royal Family would send to the gallows anyone who reveled the secret to anyone other than a Polish Royal family Member of their cooking staff?

   Everyone relaxed as they realized there was no one to enforce the rule.

  Then everyone realized the secret could be told to the Polish Royal Family and the cooking staff.  What does that mean? Why would the cooking staff be privileged to the Polish Family Secret Treasure?

   What does that mean?  is the treasure a recipe?

   Valerie and Victoria said simultaneously  “This is getting weird.”

   Lydia immediately was thrilled that she might have a new recipe for her cook book.  She said, “Can you imagine what it would be like to place a Polish Royal family secret recipe on her blog?”

   There was only one way to find out.  Unroll some more of the leather coil.

   MELVIN ZWICK started to unroll the coil again.  New words showed up.  What did they say?

Polska Rodzina Królewskiego Sekretu

   Victoria was next to put the Polish words into GOOGLE translate program.

“Polish Royal Family Secret”

   Well the Ranchers sort of knew that.  Nothing new here.

   More unrolling and more words.  Maybe the next words will reveal what this secret is all about. 

Polski Babies Wypełnionych Chleb Monkey

   VICTORIA was next on the computer.  She typed in

“Polski Babies Wypełnionych Chleb Monkey.”

   The translation came out,

“Polish Babies filled Monkey Bread.”

   What is that? “Polish Babies filled Monkey Bread.”   Something was wrong.  What does that mean?  Does it mean, “Polish babies are filled with Monkey Bread?” What does that have to do with a Royal Family Treasure.

   Does it mean monkey bread filled with polish babies? Something was lost in the translation but what?

   The Ranch detectives went to work in rearranging the message.  They finally came up with,  “Polish Babies filled with Monkey Bread.” They came to that conclusion because of a cartoon MELVIN ZWICK had sent the Rancher several weeks earlier.

   The thought of a treasure disappeared as everyone was now concentrating on what the message said.  Could it be the message is coded and when decoded it would lead to something else.

   Caroline was first to encourage MELVIN ZWICK to unroll some more of the coil.

   The next words were as follows.  This message would require a lot of typing so CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA was sent to the computer GOOGLE translate program.  She typed in the following words as they appeared on the leather page.



2 jajka

1 / 2 szklanki mleka

1 / 2 szklanki przesianej mąki wszystkich

1 szczypta mielonej gałki muszkatołowej

1 szczypta soli

2 łyżki masła

Cukru 2 łyżki cukierników "do odkurzania


Miejsce 10 cali ciężkie żelazo patelni wewnątrz piekarnika i piec do podgrzewania do bardzo gorące.

W średniej misce, beat jaj z wielu powiązanych ze sobą słomek do światła.  Dodaj mleko i wymieszać.  Stopniowo mieszać wielu słomki opleciony mąki, sól i gałkę muszkatołową.

Usuń patelnię z piekarnika i zmniejszyć wydzielanie ciepła piekarnik trochę.

Masło roztopić w gorącej patelni, tak aby wewnątrz patelni jest całkowicie pokryte z masłem.  Wlać wszystkie ciasta w patelni i powrót patelni do piekarnika.

Piec aż dmuchany i lekko rumiane, około 12 minut.  Usuń szybko i posypać cukrem pudrem.

  One would have to give CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA a lot of credit for typing the Polish message into the computer.  Each Polish word had to be spelled out letter by letter.

  After about of 20 minutes of typing, back spacing and retyping the GOOGLE Translate program produced the following:



2 eggs

1 / 2 cup milk

1 / 2 cup sifted flour all

1 pinch ground nutmeg

1 pinch of salt

2 tablespoons butter

Sugar 2 tablespoons confectioners' Vacuum


Place 10-inch heavy skillet iron inside the oven and preheat oven to very hot.

In a medium bowl, beat eggs with many interrelated straws to light.  Add milk and mix.  Gradually stir many braided straw flour, salt and nutmeg.

Remove the pan from the oven and reduce oven heat a little.

Melt butter in hot pan, so that the inside of the pan is completely coated with butter.  Pour all the cakes in a skillet and return pan to oven.

Bake until puffed and lightly browned, about 12 minutes.  Remove quickly and sprinkle with powdered sugar.

   The four young ranchers all hollered at the same time, “Dutch Babies.” Could it be the Polish were first to create what we know today as Dutch Babies?  The Polish create Polish Babies but hide the receipt until someone gave the secret to a Dutch individual.  And that Dutch person would take credit for developing Dutch Babies.

   Did someone go to the gallows for the indiscretion of revealing the Polish secret?

  Questions that probably would never be answered.

   Then the realization of what was first expected of the Royal Family Secret Treasure.  Was the secret nothing more than the recipe for Polish Babies better know today as Dutch Babies.

   But wait the leather coil was not totally unrolled.  There must be more information on the rest of leather strip.

    Come on MELVIN ZWICK unroll the rest of the coil.  Lay it all out on the table.

   The next and final words were as follows:



1 1 / 2 ciasta drożdżowego sprężonego

1 szklanka mleka

4 łyżki cukru

1 łyżka soli

1 / 2 kostki masła, roztopionego oraz stopione masło na zanurzenie

3 1 / 2 szklanki mąki, przesiewa

 Sposób użycia:

1.  Rozgrzej piekarnik do bardzo gorąco.

2.  Mleko się w ciężkich dnie patelni na małym ogniu.  Mieszać od czasu do czasu do czasu pojawiają się małe pęcherzyki wokół krawędzi miski i mleko jest tylko gorąca (nie gotować).  Zdjąć z ognia, ostudzić lekko.

3.  Drożdży Miejsce i parzone mleko w dużej misce.  Gdy drożdże rozpuszcza się, dodać cukier, sól i masło.  Dodać mąkę, pokonać dobrze.

 4.  Przykryć i pozwolić wyrośnięcia do prawie dwukrotnie (ok.  45 minut).

5.  Po wyrośnięciu okazać się na lekko posypanej mąką powierzchni.  Uderzenie w dół i dobiegu do grubości 1 / 4 cala.

6.  Pokroić na 2 "diament w kształcie kawałków.  Dip każdy kawałek w roztopionym masłem.

7.  Rozmieszczanie elementów w 4 "pan pie, 4 lub 5 sztuk na nakładających się bochenek.  Pozostawić do wyrośnięcia na pół godziny.

5.  Po wyrośnięciu okazać SIĘ Na lekko posypanej maka powierzchni.  Uderzenie w Dół i dobiegu do grubości 1 / 4 cala.

6.  Pokroić na 2 "diament w kształcie kawałków.  Dip każdy Kawałek roztopionym w

7.  Rozmieszczanie elementów w 4 "pan pie, 4 lub 5 sztuk na nakładających się bochenek.  Pozostawić do wyrośnięcia na pół godziny.

8.  Piec 30 do 40 minut, aż brązowy.  Wyjmij z piekarnika i posmarować więcej z roztopionym masłem.

lukier Przepis


1 / 2 funta sera

1 / 2 funta masła

1 funt cukru pudru

1 łyżeczka ekstraktu z wanilii

1 łyżeczka soku z cytryny

Sposób użycia:

1.Allow ser i masło, aby dostać się do temperatury pokojowej.

2.  Pokonaj masła i sera ze sobą w dużej misce z mieszadłem.

3.  Powoli dodawać wartości funta cukru pudru.

4.  Po wszystkich cukier puder dodaje się mieszać przez 12 minut (nie mieszać mniej).

   Oh no.  Another recipe.

Valerie volunteered to type these words into GOOGLE.  After much backspacing and retyping Valerie finish typing in the Polish message. 

   The translation came back follows.



1 1/2 compressed yeast cakes

1 cup milk

4 Tablespoons sugar

1 Tablespoon salt

1/2 cup butter, melted plus melted butter for dipping

3 1/2 cups flour, sifted


 1.  Preheat oven to pretty hot.

2.  Place milk in heavy bottomed pan on low heat.  Stir occasionally until small bubbles appear around the edges of the pan and milk is just hot (do not boil).  Remove from heat; let cool slightly.

3.  Place yeast and scalded milk in a large bowl.  When yeast is dissolved, stir in sugar, salt and butter.  Add flour; beat well.

4.  Cover and allow dough to rise to almost double (approximately 45 minutes).

5.  After dough has risen, turn out onto lightly floured work surface.  Punch down and roll out to 1/4 inch thickness.

6.  Cut into 2" diamond shaped pieces.  Dip each piece in melted butter.

7.  Arrange the pieces in a 4" pie pan, 4 or 5 overlapping pieces per loaf.  Allow to rise for 1/2 hour.

8.  Bake 30 to 40 minutes or until brown.  Remove from oven and brush with more of the melted butter.

Icing Recipe


1/2 pound cream cheese

1/2 pound butter

1 pound powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon lemon juice


1. Allow cream cheese and butter to get to room temperature.

2.  Beat butter and cream cheese together in a large bowl with a mixer.

3.  Slowly add in the pound of powdered sugar.

4.  After all the powdered sugar is added mix for 12 minutes (do not mix less than that).

5.  When almost done, add in the extract and lemon juice.

Oh No!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that???????

   The Polish Royal Family Treasure is nothing but a recipe for Monkey Bread stuffed in Dutch Babies.

   Everyone really loves Dutch Babies and Monkey Bread and the combination must be absolutely fabulous but a Treasure they are not.

   All the Ranchers started imagining the Royal Family of Poland sitting around a large table with their weird dressed friends and enemies eating Polish Babies stuffed with Monkey Bread.

   Back in those days everyone used their fingers to eat with.  When they finished eating the meat off a bone they would throw the bone to the dogs that were sitting near the table.  The thought of people with such eating habits eating delicate Monkey Bread Stuffed Dutch Babies seemed to be sort of odd.

   Than the thought of the Kowkarski family along with the only ATTIC MONSTER in the world guarding recipes for at least 600 years that have been know to the world for a hundred years or more.  If Mr.  Kowkarski had not died unexpectedly his family would still be guarding the Polish Royal Family Treasure. 

   The Kowkarski family and the ATTIC MONSTER, by protecting the recipes, prevented the famous Dutch Babies from being known as Polish Babies.  Although everyone laughed and said Dutch Babies sounds a lot better than Polish Babies.

    What an adventure MELVIN ZWICK the Grandpa look alike, ADELBERT the great Kyle look alike, KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike and UCHWYT the great Joseph look a likes had.  They sure had a fantastic adventure in their seeking the Polish Royal Family treasure.

    How many young people in the world would ever have an adventure like the removing of the ATTIC MONSTER from the world. 

    Every one in the family sat around and laughed about the adventure.  There was continuous talk about the adventure almost as I no one wanted to let the memory slip away.

  Then the ATTIC MONSTER monsters started to drift away.  They had had had a great adventure and needed some sleep.

  The adventure would have to be relived in their dreams.

  The next day was spent reviewing the adventure again.

   After a while the Fabulous lady Ranchers got up and prepared a fabulous dinner for the adventurers.  Steak and Baked potatoes, white chili, corn bread, pecan pie with chocolate chips and last but be no mean the least, Monkey Bread stuffed Dutch Babies. 

   ADELBERT the great Kyle look alike, the beautiful Miss Victoria and MELVIN ZWICK the great Grandpa look alike about to dive into some very tasty and tender steaks COMPUTER GURU DADDY prepared for the ATTIC MONSTER adventurers.

    The lady Ranchers prepared the now well talked about Polish Royual Family treasure.  WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a way to end one adventure and start a new one.  Monkey Bread stuffed Dutch Babies.  The Polish Royal Family really did have a great treasure.

  After dinner the family went to Meemom’s house to watch an episode of Little House on the Prairie.  About half way through the program the TV announcer interrupted the program with a news flash. 

   It seems three leaders of the Knights of Satin who are known for the viciousness were found tied in their birthday suite to a chain link fence in Tucson.  There was several properly covered up photos to show the bad guys in the compromised position.    

   They complained to the press that they had been terribly embarrassed and taunted by unknown strangers until they were rescued.  They said they would leave town as soon as their feet would carry them, well at least after they could find some clothes.

  Several of the local residents, with their identity concealed, laughed and said it was about time some of the Knights of Satin got what the deserved.  They thanked who ever had tied up the Knights in their birthday suits to the fence. 

   The residents said they were no longer threatened by the Knights and would see that they all left town.

  The ranchers and the ATTIC MONSTERS had another great belly laugh.

    While sitting in the Crossroads Country Ranch living room surrounded by CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA, COMPUTER GURU DADDY, Lydia, Kyle, Valerie, Victoria, Caroline, Timothy, Joseph and Benjamin MELVIN ZWICK realized he had the greatest treasure in the world.  The Bowes Family. 

    Hey MELVIN ZWICK said, “Who needs a treasure of gold and gems when they have the treasure of the greatest family in the world.


and COMPUTER GURU DADDY the leader of the Crossroads Country Ranch.

  Then there is the entire bunch of Ranchers.

 In that bunch of Ranchers there is the older daughter Lydia the sheep raiser, sheep soap maker and farmer. 


Than there are the Quads. 

  Victoria, Caroling, Valerie and Kyle
Kyle the 6 foot 3.5 inch young man who can build anything and is a master of math,

  Caroline and Victoria the goat ranchers and horse owners and trainers.

  Victoria and her horse, Gracie.

  No folks that is not a new type of instrument Victoria is blowing on.

The adventuress Caroline jumping Victoria’s horse.

There is Valerie who is breeding dogs to help provide funds for baby adoption. 

Then there are the younger boys.

  Timothy and Joseph testing the strength of each other.

  Benjamin the newest Rancher reading to his Big Brother Joseph.

   Then there is Timothy the slugger who can sock a ball a mile and a half

   Look at timothy’s eyes.  They are defiantly on the ball.

and Joseph who is the artist of the family.

    Then there is Benjamin the youngest member of the ranchers. 

    He has yet to develop any special traits other than the ability to run full steam across the room. 

   All the young ladies and the boys love to read.  That is the best of all their talents.  They can be anywhere in the world by reading a book.

    They can even imagine themselves fighting off the very deadly ATTIC MONSTER.

   Who needs Gold, gems, fortune when they have such a great family?