MELVIN ZWICK VS THE ATTIC MONSTER
Or
THE GREATEST TREASURE IN THE WORLD
By
MELVIN ZWICK THE GREAT ATTIC MONSTER ELIMINATOR
It has been several months
since MELVIN ZWICK, entered Bachi Bachi's attic.
The photo above shows Bachi
Bachi’s home when Grandpa was very young.
That is Grandpa and a neighbor girl standing in front of the house the
ATTIC MONSTER lived in.
The attic was above the
massive sleeping room on the second floor.
The whole upstairs was one very large bed room. Melvin Zwick and Grandpa used to roller skate
around the beds when it was to wet or cold to go outside.
There were 26 canvas covered
windows around the second floor. The was
a large closet in one corner of the bedroom and a build tin dresser in another
corner.
MELVIN ZWICK could still
remember when he was told about the ATTIC MONSTER. As a boy he was searching for hidden
Christmas presents that were send to Tucson by his Cocia Gwen. She always sent presents early. MELVIN ZWICK was searching in the upstairs
closet when he noticed a trap door in
the ceiling. His curiosity was peeked
but there was no way to climb up to see where it led.
That day he casually mentioned
to Bachi Bachi that he had seen a trap door when he was taking a shirt out of
the closet.
Bachi Bachi’s eyes got big as
she related the story about the ATTIC MONSTER.
She said there was a very big monster that lived in the attic. It was so big it would eat anyone who went
near it. She said never never never lift
the trap door.
As a kid MELVIN ZWICK believed
everything Bachi Bachi told him.
For years he believed thunder
was the noise made by Giants in the sky who were bowling. Lightning were bolts of electricity that the
Sky Giants were throwing at each other.
Wind was caused by the same Giants who were blow in a game they
played. They liked to see how far they
could move things without touching them.
Bachi Bachi told him all these things.
MELVIN ZWICK still remembers
how he felt when he told a school friend of the bowling Giants. His buddy laughed and said there were no
Giants in the sky. MELVIN ZWICK said,
“Oh yeah, lets ask Mrs Thomas,” their third grade teacher. She would set his buddy straight. MELVIN ZWICK was greatly embarrassed when Mrs
Thomas told him there were no Giants in the sky. For weeks all MELVIN ZWICK schoolmates
laughed at him saying things like, “Melvin the sky giants are going to bowl you
over.”
Why wouldn’t he believe
everything Bachi Bachi told him. He was
well trained to believe his elders.
As a kid MELVIN ZWICK was set
straight about thunder, lightning and wind but he still knew there was an ATTIC
MONSTER above the bed room. How many
times MELVIN ZWICK wanted to check out the attic but the thought of the monster
left him knowing that entering the attic would not be the best thing for a kid
to do.
As an adult MELVIN ZWICK did
not fear the ATTIC MONSTER so it was easy for him to enter the attic.
On that trip he recovered a
leather trunk with gold edge strips, hinges and latches.
The trunk contained a leather
bound book and many faded yellow papers with writing on them.
MELVIN ZWICK determined the
leather bound book was filled with proclamations made by a King that existed in
Poland almost 600 years ago.
It had taken all these past months for MELVIN ZWICK to translate the 83 headings on the pages of proclamations contained in the book. The only proclamation that made any sense for our period of time was the 39th.
The 39th proclamation explained why MELVIN ZWICK was shrinking and ADELBERT MAARSCHALKERWEERD the great Kyle look alike here after known as ADELBERT, MELVIN ZWICK’S nearest first born Grandson was getting taller.
That proclamation basically
stated that as a Grandpa ages he shrinks and his first born Grandson grows in
height.
The rest of the proclamations
in the leather book pertained to guides for running the Polish government.
How MELVIN ZWICK has a near
Grandson named ADELBERT is easy to explain.
ADELBERT lives in semi hiding with CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMUTER
GURU DADDY just like MELVIN ZWICK semi hides with his look alike, Grandpa.
Obviously MELVIN ZWICK didn't have any interest in totally translating the rest of the proclamations. He had no need to know how to run a Polish government.
MELVIN ZWICK, next turned his
interest to the many faded yellow papers in the trunk. There was a bunch of very yellowed hand
written notes stored haphazardly in the bottom of the leather trunk. What information might all these yellowed
pages have to tell MELVIN?
It would probably take the
rest of MELVIN ZWICK very notable life to translate all of the pages of hand
written Polish notes. That project was
not in MELVIN ZWICK’S very busy schedule.
So MELVIN ZWICK, grudgingly
planned to set the gold framed leather trunk back into the attic. The trunk just might spend the rest of it's
life in the attic with the ATTIC MONSTER.
The transfer to the attic was
not meant to be however. All day long
the trunk was calling MELVIN ZWICK. At
first the call was very subdued. Through
out the day a though of the leather trunk would pass through MELVIN ZWICK'S
very active brain. Those of you who know
MELVIN ZWICK know he is an extremely busy individual.
As the days went by the
thoughts of the leather trunk came more often and became more intense. The thoughts of the leather trunk with the
bunch of faded yellow pages started to consumed all his thoughts. Every waking hour was spent thinking about
the yellow pages. MELVIN ZWICK could not
get the yellowed pages out of his mine.
There was something in those
yellow paged that needed to be exposed.
Was it necessary to translate all the yellow pages or just a few or
maybe just one page?
As MELVIN ZWICK though about
all the faded yellow pages his mind started to get the impression there was
only one page calling him. Only one of
scattered faded yellow pages was calling MELVIN ZWICK. But which one?
His mind started to get the
same image over and over again. The
image was not clear enough to lead to the correct page in the stack but it was
clear enough to know it was the same page each time it appeared in his brain.
How would MELVIN ZWICK find
the yellowed page that was constantly in his mind?
He though if he looked through
the pages one at a time he might recognize the page that was calling him. How would that work? All the pages looked the
same. They were all hand written in what
appeared to be Polish.
So MELVIN ZWICK opened the
trunk and looked inside. There were the
faded yellow pages in disarray covering the bottom of the trunk.
He gathered up the faded
yellow pages and stacked them face up and set them aside for the moment.
After he removed the faded
yellow pages he noticed what appeared to be golf ball size balls in the bottom
of the trunk.
So MELVIN ZWICK started by
arranging the jumbled bunch of faded yellow pages. The pages seemed to be in no specific
order. They were all the same size but
some seemed to be a more yellow color.
Maybe some were older that others.
The writing appeared to once be black but had faded greatly.
There appeared to be no
heading or page numbers on the pages.
MELVIN ZWICK made a quick
count of the faded yellow pages. One,
two, three… one hundred and sixteen. One
hundred sixteen faded yellow pages all with hand written notes in what appeared
to be Polish. The page on the top of the
now assembled stack sat there looking up at him. Hand written polish. What could it say.
The GOOGLE translate program
is very easy to use. All one has to do
is type in the Polish words and the program translates the words into English.
The program is simple but the
typing in the Polish words would be a major task.
To begin with the words are
hand written in Polish. The handwriting
letters are not always easy to recognize.
Then the words themselves are not recognizable because they are
Polish.
For instance take the words:
Dzień dobry
Two simple words right. But try
typing them into the computer. The mind
does not recognize them. So typing them
into the computer would be somewhat difficult for MELVIN ZWICK. MELVIN ZWICK is great at most everything but
typing is not one of his strengths. His
ability is only slightly better that the two finger method of typing.
By the way the two words are
Polish for “Good morning.”
MELVIN ZWICK knew that he was
getting a message from only one page.
But which one. It surely was not
the top page.
MELVIN ZWICK then started
looking at each page. A glance at the
top page Nothing. It was just a yellow
page with a bunch of Polish written on it that meant nothing to him. So he set the first page on the table next to
him and looked at the second sheet. No
feeling. So the second page was placed
face up on top of the first sheet on the table.
And so it went. MELVIN ZWICK
would lift the top page on the original stack and study it for a second, then
set it on the previous reviewed pages face up.
MELVIN ZWICK was excited as he
reviewed the pages. He now knew that
there was a page in the stack that must be translated. That page held a note that would prove to be
exciting. He felt that page would take
him on an exciting adventure.
He noticed that around page 83
the slight twinge on the back of his neck started to increase. He noticed the twinge became stronger as he
continued lifting, looking at and setting aside each following page. The feeling started to taper off after about
the 93rd page. By the time the last page
was reviewed and set on the second pile the twinge was completely gone.
Was there a page somewhere
between say 90 and 95 that was important.
Was one of those pages giving MELVIN ZWICK a strong twinge on the back
of his neck? He determined he needed to
run the cycle again. This time he would
more closely evaluate the feeling if it happened again.
At this point a little MELVIN
ZWICK personality description is necessary.
MELVIN ZWICK is one of those nutty compulsive people who counts every
thing. He knew it took 23 steps to get
to the mail box, there were 14 bites in the sandwich he ate for lunch. And so it was he knew the most intense
feeling came at page 93 of the 116 total pages of the stack of Polish notes.
If there was really a feeling
as he dealt through the pages it would happen again around the 93rd page.
One by one he moved a page from
the first stack to the second stack.
This time the twinge began
around page 20 and reached a peak at page 23.
Well so much for the twinge test.
The twinge on the back of his neck came at a different page count this
time as MELVIN ZWICK looked through the stack of pages.
The most intense twinge on MELVIN
ZWICK'S neck, while flipping through the pages the first time, occurred at page
93. On the second count the feeling
occurred at page 23.
So much for the test.
What a waste of time. MELVIN ZWICK leafed through the faded yellow
pages one at a time taking time to study each page for a few moments. He did that twice and came to the conclusion
that the twinge on the back of his neck was only his imagination playing games
with him.
MELVIN ZWICK set the stack of
pages in the bookcase in the study and walked back into the living room. He had just wasted a major portion of the day
looking at Polish notes written on faded old yellow pages. He wondered why he did that. Was the whole call of the notes only his
imagination playing games with him?
As he sat down in his chair in
front of his 55 inch flat screen TV he remembered why he has such an obsession
with those papers. He had this crazy
feeling there was something in those papers that he had to be exposed to
him.
The pages with Polish written
on them would have to wait. MELVIN ZWICK
had better things to do. He was writing
a story for Grandpa's Grandkids. This
story was about the time he went to Tibet and found his cloak of
invisibility. The cloak allowed him to
go places without being seen.
He used the cloak of invisible
once when he went with Grandpa to visit the Mossyrock Crossroads Country
Ranchers. He boarded Southwest aircraft
with Grandpa and found a vacant seat for the flight to Portland. The person seated next to him was a little
spooked when they saw the seat cushion being depressed. They must have thought no one would believe
them if she reported the sighting so she never reported what she saw.
The van ride from Portland to
Mossyrock was a little more difficult.
There are so many ranchers they occupy all the seats. MELVIM ZWICK had to sit in the storage
section of the van. He was a little
stiff when they got to the ranch. He
went for a walk down to the mailbox to stretch his legs.
No one knew he was in their
presents.
MELVIN ZWICK had printed out
the first 23 pages of the story with the intent of proof reading them.
The pages of his story were
not numbered. That would not be a
problem. By his compulsive counting
habit he knew the page with the glaring error was the 19th page from the top of
the stack.
MELVIN ZWICK picked up the
stack and started counting down. He
counted down 19 pages, and studied the page and WHAT? The 19th page down should
have been the troubled page but it wasn't.
There was no error on that page.
How could that be. MELVIN ZWICK
does not make mistakes. He looked for an
error on page 18 and page 20. No error on
those pages that needed to be corrected.
MELVIN ZWICK put his highly
analytical mind to work. He reviewed
each step he went through as he proof read his story.
He had picked up the 23
printed pages of his story. He had
placed the stack face up on his lap. He
picked up the top page and read it. When
he had finished reading it he placed that page face up on the end table next to
his chair. He continued these steps
until he had looked at the last page.
After the first pass he picked
up the stack from the end table and counted down the pages as he removed the
top page and placed it face up on the end table. When he got to the 19th page he found a page
with no errors.
What went wrong?
Most of you who know MELVIN
ZWICK, are probably thinking he has led you into another MELVIN ZWICK
contest. Well this time is
different. No contest, only a story.
Why was the error in MELVIN
ZWICK’S Invisible Cloak story the 19th page but then it was not the
19th?
So what went wrong. Why was the Polish page that was nudging him
during his first pass at the faded yellow pages the 93rd and then the second
pass the page was the 23rd.
The same thing happened when
MELVIN ZWICK was reviewing his story.
MELVIN ZWICK was too tired to solve the problem that night. He placed the problem into the chamber of his
subconscious mind, pulled the curtain around it and went to sleep.
Early the next morning after
little sleep MELVIN ZWICK'S brilliant sub conscious brain had solved the
problem. It threw the solution outto his
conscious mind as he was eating his normal breakfast of Oatmeal and Yogurt with
a touch of honey and cinnamon. The answer came to him as he was wondering if
some of the honey could be from Miss Lydia’s honey bees.
The solution was really
simple.
Let's return to the steps
MELVIN ZWICK took in reviewing the pages of his story.
MELVIN ZWICK removed the top
page of the stack that was in his lap face up.
He read it. He then placed it on
the end table face up. He then did the
same with the next top page of the stack. He placed the page face up on the
page on the end table
MELVIN ZWICK’S brilliant mind
told him he was shuffling the pages. By
placing the top page of the stack face up in the second pile he was making the
top page of the first stack the bottom page of the second stack. RIGHT.
Problem solved!!!!!!!
The 93 page on the first count
became the 23 page on the second count.
Now MELVIN ZWICK knew what the
problem with his page count was. He
could find the page that was calling him.
The page he was looking for
should be the 93 on the third count.
MELVIN ZWICK gathered the
faded yellow pages again and took them into the living room where he sat down
in his leather chair. He counted down to
the 93rd page. The twinge in
the back of his neck started again and lasted as long as he held that
page.
So what did the 93rd page have
to say? MELVIN ZWICK would have to translate it.
The page in faded brown ink
read:
PRZYMIERZE
MIĘDZY KRÓLEM POLSKA I JEGO GWARDII KRÓLEWSKIEJ
Poprzez podpisanie tego przymierza stwierdzamy, że wszystkie pokolenia
naszej rodziny Kowkarski będzie na bieżąco i straż z naszego życia
najcenniejszym skarbem rodziny królewskiej z Polska.
My, członkowie rodziny
Kowkaerski, zapewniam, że będziemy przekazywać tę odpowiedzialność do kolejnych
pokoleń naszej rodziny.
Będziemy strzec skarbu aż do
zwolnienia przez członka polskiej rodziny królewskiej.
A quick look into Google
Translate produced the following translation:
COVENANT BETWEEN THE KING OF POLAND AND HIS ROYAL GUARD.
“By signing this covenant we affirm that all generations of our
Kowkarski family will keep and guard with our lives the most valuable treasure
of the Royal Family of Poland.
We, members of the Kowkarski
family, assure that we will pass this responsibility on to following
generations of our family.
We will guard the treasure
until released by a member of the Polish Royal Family.”
The bottom of the page had
several signatures that looked like they belong to the Kowkarski members. The bottom of the page also looked like it
was stamped with fingers dipped is some dark reddish ink. Could it be the ink
was blood?
MELVIN ZWICK wondered why the
page had been nudging him. He gave the
question a few minutes of though then realize the answer was simple. The reason he had been called by the 93rd
page was because he was part Polish and was the greatest adventurer on the
planet.
What would be the next step
the greatest adventuress on the planet be in finding the most valuable Polish
Family Treasure?
Was the most valuable treasure
gems or maybe gold or some title to extremely valuable land?
Would the Polish Royal Family
Treasure be gold? Gold has been a treasure ever since it was first
discovered. How long has it been a
treasure?
That question sidetracked the
ever inquisitive MELVIN ZWICK. He had to
know the answer.
A quick trip to a GOOGLE search
on his massive computer system was called for.
His search revealed the following:
“Nobody knows who
picked up a gold nugget first but
it would have been
because it was shiny. Gold was highly
valued from the
earliest recorded times in history. It
seems that the
Egyptians developed gold smelting some
5600 years ago
(about 3600 BC) using clay blowpipes to
heat the smelter
contents.”
An interesting side not
was discovered whail looking for the age of gold. The lady ranchers might be interested in this
note.
“The first known
chemist was a woman. A Mesopotamian
cuneiform tablet
from the second millenium B.C.
describes Tapputi,
a perfumer and palace overseer who
distilled the
essences of flowers and other aromatic
materials,
filtered them, added water and returned them
to the still
several times until she got just what she
wanted. This is
also the first known reference to the
process of
distillation and the first recorded still.”
Another interesting note about
the first gold coin was found on the search for the age of gold.
“Lydian electrum
trite (4.71g, 13x10x4 mm). This coin
type, made of a
gold and silver alloy, was in all likelihood
the world's first,
minted by Kin”
of
kingly authority, from time immemorial. One of the most
fascinating
coins of all time, a coin that is believe to be the first
true coin, features one the most fascinating
lions ever to appear
on a
coin. “
What would the value of gold
that was put into a Royal Family Treasure 600 years ago be worth today? Several
billion Dollars? Maybe a trillion?
It was time for MELVIN ZWICK to
put his tremendous detective talent to work.
Where should he start?
The first question that came to mind was why the leather trunk was located in Bachi Bachi's attic protected by the ATTIC MONSTER? How long had it been there? Bachi Bachi's maiden name was Glowacki. She was not a member of the Kowkarski family. She would not be responsible to protect the Polish Royal Family Treasure.
Maybe it was time to look at
all the pages of the leather bound book again.
Maybe there might be a clue on one of the pages of that book.
MELVIN ZWICK picked up the
ancient leather bound book and examined the front page. Nothing there but faded Polish words written
on yellowed paper. He then turned over
the leather bound book and looked at the back page. Nothing there.
Casually he opened the back
cover. There was a clue. A major clue.
On the back of the last page was a faint hand written note. A note written in English.
MELVIN ZWICK immediately
recognized the hand writing. The note
was written by Bachi Bachi.
The writhing was so faint it
could not be scanned into the computer.
They note written by Bachi
Bachi said:
Her family was getting ready to
move when her husband was killed in a horrific car accident. Mrs. Kowkarski did not have the funds
necessary to pay for the burial of her husband.
She said her husband had just
removed the trunk from their judt before he left on his ill fated car trip.
She said she did not know what
the papers in the trunk revealed as her husband demanded no one know of the
trunks contents.
She was not Polish and could
not read the pages.
She did say the trunk was
extremely old. It had been in Mr. Kowkarski’s family far longer than could be
remembered.
Her 12 year old son told her
that his Dad had told him the trunk had been in the Kowkarski family for more
years that can be imagined. He had been
told that it was the Kowkarski family tradition to pass the trunk on to the
next son when he became 21 years old.
The lady said the value was the
trunk and not the stuff in it. She could
not see why the trunk had been passed down for so many years.
MELVIN ZWICK knew how the
leather trunk ended up in Bachi Bachi's possession.
MELVIN ZWICK also knew Mrs
Kowkarski probably didn't find the Polish Royal Family Treasure. If she had she would not be desperate to sell
the leather trunk to have money to bury her husband.
Did Bachi Bachi translate any
of the faded yellow pages? She could speak Polish but could not read polish.
MELVIN ZWICK knew Bachi Bachi
was a collector. She probably thought
the leather trunk with the gold colored trim was interesting. He also knew that her house was so crowded
that there was no room for the trunk in any of the rooms.
So the trunk ended up in her
attic with the ATTIC MONSTER.
There was a major obstacle
that faced MELVIN ZWICK. He had a
leather trunk that contained a certificate signed by a Kowkarski stating the
family would keep and protect the Royal Polish Family Treasure for
eternity. But where was the Royal Family
Treasure. There were no gems or gold
coins in the trunk. There were only a
leather bound book with Polish proclamations and 116 loose documents written in
Polish and a gold trimmed leather trunk.
The leather trunk had come down
from Bachi Bachi’s attic. The attic had
massive webs in it. The concentration of
the webs were in the far corner away from the entrance trap door.
MELVIN ZWICK thought he might
have to enter the attic again.
But first MELVIN ZWICK needed
to determine what made those massive webs.
A search on the Internet was called for.
MELVIN ZWICK saddled up to his
computer and hit the on button. While
his specially designed computer with it's several terabyte memories connected
thru the either to a zillion sites warmed up he wondered where his search
should start.
He had a vision of those
spider webs. What was that vision. Sometimes it was a vision of webs hanging in
space. Then it would be a vision of webs
on a sheet of paper. The vision was
definitely of webs weather on paper of in space.
MELVIN ZWICK knew he had seen
spider webs in space in the attic. But
where did he see spider webs on a page of paper? Had he seen a sheet of paper
with webs drawn on it? The only papers he had observed recently were the 116
pages in the leather trunk.
It was time to flip through
those pages again. Maybe the webs he had
seen were on one of those pages.
MELVIN ZWICK picked up the 116
pages and sat down in his leather recliner.
The computer search would have to wait.
Before he could look at the
first page, PEPE his 20 pound kitty jumped in his lap. That was a tradition that started the first
day PEPE the feral cat moved in and took over the house. PEPE the meanest
outdoor Tom cat in the world was now PEPE the gentlest lap kitty in the world.
MELVIN ZWICK knew it would be
useless to tell PEPE to get down so he and PEPE would have to review the pages
together.
It would not be difficult to
find the page he had visions of if it was in the stack. The page would have a spider web drawn on it.
MELVIN ZWICK and PEPE looked
at page after page. As he turned over
page 89 he spotted what he was looking for.
The yellowed 89 page had a spider web drawn on it. Below the web was a paragraph written in
Polish.
It was back to Google
translate.
About an hour later MELVIN
ZWICK had the translation.
The paragraph in essence
described a very rare massive spider that lived in a cave near Lodz,
Poland. In fact it was so rare it was
the only spider of it type in the world.
It reproduced by itself.
The spider would build a nest
and fill it with spider eggs.
The spider never left the cave
because it knew it would die in the light of the sun or moon. Electrical lighting did not affect an ATTIC
MONSTER .
The Polish translation noted
the spider lived on a diet dust bunnies.
However the poison of it's bite would kill a human faster than a bite
from a coral snake. A person would have
enough time to say "Ou.." before he died from it's bite.
The webs were thick, sticky
and strong enough to hold an Elephant.
The legend said the webs would not stick to metals. The legend also stated that the webs were
know to not stick to sheep’s wool. Sheep
had been know to live in the spiders den.
It seems that the sheep helped
to feed the spider by stirring up dust bunnies.
The webs were so strong they
would stretch when hit by a bullet than send the bullet back like a
slingshot. However they could be sliced
with a razor sharp metal edge as easy as cutting a soft cotton rope.
The paragraph also said only
one egg would hatch when the parent massive spider died. Once a spider set up housekeeping in an attic
they and their offspring could live forever.
The paragraph went on to say
that a Kowkarski had stolen a egg from the spider and placed it in the leather
trunk. It was the Kowkarski’s plan to
keep the leather trunk in the attic. The
spider egg would hatch and the resultant ATTIC MONSTER would protect the trunk
forever. It would lay additional eggs in
the trunk so that there would always be a new spider to replace a dying
spider.
The written word on the faded
yellow page also said that the Kowkarski family men had an extremely secret
formula of a gas that would dissolve the ATTIC MONSTER . That chemical was created by an elder
Kowkarski man when ever the trunk had to be moved. The attic would be filled with the special
gas and the resident attic monster would dissolve. However the eggs in the trunk would be safe
from the gas.
Every time the trunk was
relocated it would be placed in the attic of the new resident. One egg would hatch and there would be a new
ATTIC MONSTER protecting the Polish Royal Family Treasure.
A computer search for the attic
monster held lots of stories about mythical attic monsters but no scientific
information on the attic monster mentioned on the faded yellow page.
For at least 600 years the
Kowkarski clan passed the word out that there was a monster in the attic. The intent was to scare everyone away from
entering the attic. That legend grew
thought-out the Polish world and eventually into the rest of the civilized
world.
Practically every child was
told never to crawl into the attic because the ATTIC MONSTER would catch them
and eat them.
MELVIN ZWICK was told of the
ATTIC MONSTER by Bachi Bachi who was told the legend by her parents who learned
it from their parents and so on. For at
least 600 years there really was only one ATTIC MONSTER in the whole world and
that monster was in whatever attic the leather trunk was in.
The following short MELVIN
ZWICK STORY illustrates how pervasive the legend of the ATTIC MONSTER was.
MEVIN ZWICK was in Grandpa’s
attic installing a burglar alarm cable.
He was in the very corner of the attic where slope of the roof had
brought it so low it forced him to lay down while working. The roofing nails
poking through the roof slats were poking him in the back. The space was so confined he had to lay down
as he drilled a 1 inch hole into the wood cap on the cinder block wall. The hole was drilled and MELVIN ZWICK poked
the ½ inch cable into the hole. The
cable went in about 2 inches than stopped.
No effort of poking the cable into the hole produced a deep penetration
more than about 2 inches.
That’s when MELVIN ZWICK made
a mistake and stuck his right index finger into the hole with the intent of
finding what obstacle was preventing the cable from being fed into the
hole.
He found the cinder block wall
partially blocked the hole. If the
cable was pressed against the east wall of the hole it would bypass the
obstacle and could be fed through the hole into the wall then down to the alarm
he was building.
That’s when MELVIN ZWICK, the
most intelligent man in the world, realized he had made a terrible
mistake.
Visualize drilling a hole in a
fibrous wood beam. As the drill passed
down into the wood it leaves splinters poking down from the wall of the hole. MELVIN ZWICK’S finger slid easily into the
hole. All the splinters hinged
down. As MELVIN ZWICK tried to pull his
index finger out of the tight hole the tips of the splinters stuck in his
finger. As he tried to lift his finger
out of the hole the splinters hinged upward making the hole smaller in
diameter. The more he pulled up on his
finger the tighter the splinters hung on to his finger.
MELVIN ZWICK’S finger was
grabbed in the equivalent of a child’s toy Chinese torture tube. The harder he pulled the tighter his finger
was held.
MELVIN ZWICK the coolest man
in the world started to sweat. His first
thought was how would anyone rescue him.
The fire department would have to cut a hole in the roof. Grandpa the MELVIN ZWICK look alike would not
be happy about that.
The neighbors would never let
MELVIN ZICK the smartest man in the world forget how a little piece of wood had
captured his finger.
Than the problem would be how
to get his finger out of the hole.
Then he realized he had an
even more serious problem. No one knew
he was in the attic. Grandpa and Grandma
were out of town for the week.
Then he realized there was an
even more pressing problem. The only
light he had with him was a battery powered flashlight that had fairly weak
batteries when he entered the attic. He
remembered all the gory stories his grandma had told him about ATTIC MONSTER
when he was a kid.
His first thoughts were not
too serious but as the seconds ticked by he became more concerned. Shortly MELVIN ZWICK, the bravest man in the
world started to have bouts of slight fear.
In his mind he noticed the
flashlight getting dimmer. The thought
was only in his mind because the light had many hours of brightness left. MELVIN ZWICK knew that if the light failed
the ATTIC MONSTER would pounced on him and eat him.
But then MELVIN ZWICK the
Karate master took hold of himself. He
started to analyze his finger in the hole situation. He realized he could think his finger thinner.
MELVIN ZWICK closed his eyes
and concentrated on getting his finger thinner.
After about a minute MELVIN
ZWICK pulled up on his finger with ease.
The finger came free. MELVIN
ZWICK was free. The ATTIC MONSTER would
miss a meal of human today.
All this story was interesting but it didn't tell MELVIN ZWICK where the Polish Royal Family Treasure was.
MELVIN ZWICK the great detective needed a fresh start. He determined the best bet in finding the Polish Royal Treasure was to start at the beginning.
This treasure hunt started
with the story of the ATTIC MONSTER living in the attic. That led MELVIN ZWICK to enter the attic
where he found massive spider webs.
After cutting his ways through the webs he found a leather trunk. MELVIN ZWICK opened the trunk and found a
bunch of faded yellow pages and a leather bound book.
About that time his light
started to fail. As he left the attic
with the trunk he felt some motion in the far corner of the attic.
Wait a minute. MELVIN ZWICK'S memory flashed back to leaving
the attic. The motion in the far corner
of the attic made him look in that direction.
He remembered catching a brief glimpse of a small object partially
hidden behind the webs.
Maybe that object was the
Polish Family Royal Treasure. A return
trip to the attic was called for.
Entering the attic again would
mean MELVIN ZWICK would be facing the ATTIC MONSTER. He would have to go into the farthest reaches
of the attic, back into the dark where the ATTIC MONSTER lived. MELVIN ZWICK is the bravest man in the world
but facing the ATTIC MONSTER might call for backup.
MELVIN ZWICK knew the bravest
support he could call on were his grandson, ADELBERT MAARSCHALKERWEERD the
great Kyle look alike, here after called ADELBERT with his trusty spear.
The team would have to include
KURCZAK ZBIERACKO the great Timothy look alike, here after called KURCZAK with
his trusty BB gun.
Surely UCHWYT Z KURCZAKA the
great Joseph look alike here after called
UCHWYT with his try anything attitude would have to be included.
The question was would
CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY allow the boys to join MELVIN
ZWICK on his venture into the realm of the ATTIC MONSTER in Tucson?
The boys were very brave and
good at defending their family. KURCZAK
just used his B-B gun to wiped out three massive bees that were terrorizing the
Crossroads Country Ranch.
ADELBERT was noted for his
bravery against viscous moles. He had
just defeated a fifty three pound mole.
It was entered in the Gunnies book of records as the largest mole known
to man. The mole had made a mad dash at
ADELBERT when he was too close to the massive mole hole. Only by quick reflexes was ADELBERT with his
razor sharp spear able to stop the charging mole with his razor sharp
teeth. Razor sharp weapon against razor
sharp weapon. ADELBERT placed the back
end of the spear against his thigh and lowered the blade. The hapless mole ran right into the spear
head. The mighty ADELBERT won the
battle.
The fast reflexes of ADELBERT
with his razor sharp spear would be a tremendous asset on the entrance to the
ATTIC MONSTER’S lair.
So what to do. The treasure awaited MELVIN ZWICK. All he had to do was convince CHOCOLATE
LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY to let the boys go on a dangerous
adventure.
On one of Grandpa's visit to
the Crossroads Country Ranch MELVIN ZWICK had a opportunity to discuss the
Royal Polish Treasure caper with MELVIN ZWICK’S 6' 3.5" grandson ADELBERT
.
MELVIN ZWICK gave ADELBERT a
quick summary of the ATTIC MONSTER story.
ADELBERT thought for a while then recommended MELVIN ZWICK approach
CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY with a story that Bachi Bachi's
attic was in desperate need of being cleaned.
He would tell them that he intended to clean Bachi Bachi’s attic but
needed help. ADELBERT said the request
was not a lie. We would be cleaning
Bachi Bachi's attic.
The Crossroads Country
Ranchers were known for freely giving their help to any friend who needed
help. It would be a natural for the boys
to help MELVIN ZWICK clean BACHI BACHI’S attic.
Everyone thought her attic was filled with lots of stuff. The boys could lift all the stuff out of the
attic.
ADELBERT said he would tell
CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY that he, MELVIN ZWICK, and
UCHWYT would also be going out for a little target practice.
MELVIN ZWICK, the smartest
person in the world could not think of a way to get CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and
COMPUTER GURU DADDY to allow the boys to go on a dangerous mission. All of MELVIN ZWICK’S mental power produced
no solution and ADELBERT the great Kyle look alike in a few minutes comes up
with a simple solution. Maybe ADELBERT
is as smart as MELVIN ZWICK.
A quick trip to the Crossroads
Country Ranch and a meeting with CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY
was the next step in capturing the most valuable treasure of the Royal family
of Poland.
As usual the Crossroads
Country Ranch family treated MELVIN ZWICK with all the warmth and friendliness
they were know for. All visitors to the
ranch are treated like honored guests even goofy MELVIN ZWICK.
ADELBERT even made Monkey
Bread for MELVIN ZWICK. He did a great
job.
The girls were so busy in the
kitchen MELVIN ZWICK could not keep tract of who creating cookies, pecan pie
with chocolate chips, apple pie, corn bread, coffee cake and other delicious
treats. They all contributed to the
hearty and delicious food that was presented.
Even COMPUTER GURU DADDY participated in the kitchen choirs.
ADELBERT , KURCZAK and UCHWYT
grabbed all of MELVIN ZWICK’S computers so they could play angry birds and road
racing.
Caroline played baseball with
Allie. She hit the ball so well she
scored 5 runs without one out from Allie.
One morning ADELBERT hit the
ball for Allie. ADELBERT hit the ball
down to the road over and over again.
Allie chased it as fast as a leaf blown in a 40 mile per hour gale. She never quit until she came inside. Then she laid down as flat as a pancake on
her pillow.
MELVIN ZWICK doing some early
planning convinced the lovely Bowes girls to create sheep’s wool costumes for
himself and the boys. He had asked the
girls to create wool outfits that would make the boys look like sheep. The outfits had to cover the boys from head
to toes. There would even be a hood for
the head that would have small slits for the eyes.
MELVIN ZWICK would rely on the
legend that the ATTIC MONSTER ’s webs would not stick to sheep wool. The disguises might fool the ATTIC MONSTER
into thinking several sheep had entered the attic to stir up some extra dust
bunnies for its dinner.
He convinced the girls that
the outfits would be for a Halloween part he was planning on throwing in the
near future. The boys would go as wolves
in sheep’s clothing.
MELVIN ZWICK did it
again. What a great plan.
It finally came time to
leave. MELVIN ZWICK put on his best
straight face and asked CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and COMPUTER GURU DADDY for the
help of their three older boys. He
expressed his need of help cleaning out Bachi Bachi's attic. The boys would be well compensated for their
labor. He would have them back in three
days. MELVIN ZWICK promised to take the
boys to a Diamondback game.
CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and
COMPUTER GURU DADDY promised to consider letting their boys go on the
trip. They would have an answer before
the day ended.
The boys each told their
parents they would like to go. That was
all they said. They would never question
their parents decision.
CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and
COMPUTER GURU DADDY told MELVIN ZWICK, on the day he was to leave, that the
boys could go with him. MELVIN ZWICK was
delighted to hear the news.
For some time there was a very
weird feeling in MELVIN ZWICK’S back.
The feeling was like a feather running up and down his back. He had the feeling during the days of his
visit in Mossyrock. He tried to ignore
it but it was there all the time.
The friendly visit with the
ranchers over road the feeling but when things slowed down and MELVIN ZWICK was
alone the feeling was there.
WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It came
to MELVIN ZWICK as he was planning on leaving Mossyrock for Phoenix. Those semi-transparent balls in the leather
trunk under the faded yellow pages must be…………………….. ATTIC MONSTER spider eggs. They must be destroyed before the Boys
eliminate the ATTIC MONSTER . A dead
ATTIC MONSTER would cause an egg to hatch and a new ATTIC MONSTER would be
born. That would not do. Destroying the spider eggs in the trunk must
be the first thing MELVIN ZWICK had to do on his return to Phoenix.
The feeling on MELVIN ZWICK
went away once he thought of the spider eggs.
The trip to Portland with the
Ranchers was great fun as usual. Valerie
read the final chapter of the book she had been reading to the group. It was quite an adventure story.
The boys arrived in Phoenix
without any problems. They picked up
their luggage and headed to the passenger pick up stations. People standing around the luggage carrousel
must have wondered what ADELBERT was picking up. His razor sharp spear was packed with KURCZAK
’S B-B gun in a very long shinny cardboard box.
One end of the box was enlarged to cover the head of the spear.
The boys met grandpa and his
truck at the passenger side of the terminal.
It was then off to Grandpa’s and the leather trunk and the spider eggs.
The boys immediately went to
the large leather trunk with the gold trim upon arriving at Grandpas. MELVIN ZWICK opened the trunk lid. There they were. six round semi-transparent gold colored balls
about the size of golf balls on the bottom of the trunk.
The first question that came
to MELVIN ZWICK was how to pick them up.
Were they sticky, squishy, smelly, cold, hot or what.
Grandpa gave MELVIN ZWICK his
BBQ tongs and a cardboard box.
MELVIN ZWICK took the tongs
and grabbed the first semi-transparent ball.
It was not solid and not
sticky. It had the consistency of a
partially filled water balloon. MELVIN
ZWICK dropped it into the cardboard box.
The remaining five semi-transparent balls entered the box in the same
manner.
The next question was how to
transpose of the ATTIC MONSTER spider eggs.
KURCZAK came up with the solution.
The semi-transparent balls would make great targets for his B-B
gun. He could sharpen his aim for their
trip to the ATTIC MONSTER’S lair.
All six balls were lined up on the fence
outside grandpa’s home.
KURCZAK cocked his B-B gun,
took aim and let off a B-B. The first
ball on the left exploded with a loud pop that made everyone jump back in
surprise. They never expected the egg to
explode. The explosion sounded like an
M-80 firecracker.
Three more shots and three more explosions. Four down and tow to go. The explosion of the fifth semi-transparent
ball caused the sixth one next ball to it to explode also. That caused the boys to jump back.
The next day the intrepid
hunters, armed to the teeth, drove to Bachi Bachi's house in Tucson ready to
tackle the fearsome ATTIC MONSTER . The
two hour drive was filled with talk about how to get to the Polish Royal Family
Treasure.
Upon arriving at Bachi Bachi’s
house a quick count of weapons was made.
KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike was carrying his trusty B-B
gun. ADELBERT the Great Kyle look
alike showed off his large spear.
MELVIN ZWICK’S lesson on
sharpening knives sure paid off.
ADELBERT had sharpened the tip of the spear to a razor sharp edge. It would cut through the ATTIC MONSTER ’S
webs like a hot knife cuts through butter.
MELVIN ZWICK the great Grandpa
look alike had his two razor sharp samurai swords. UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike had his
cell phone at the ready.
MELVIN ZWICK opened a bag he
had brought from Mossyrock. It contained
a little secret he had not told the boys.
He took out four sheep costumes and set them down before the boys.
MELVIN ZWICK told the boys to
put on the sheep’s wool outfits. ADELBERT
looked at MELVIN ZWICK like he was crazy.
He had no intention of putting on a sheep costume.
MELVIN ZWICK explained that
according to the Polish legend the ATTIC MONSTER’S webs do not stick to metal
nor to sheep’s wool. MELVIN ZWICK stated
he had the girls make the sheep costumes for himself, ADELBERT , KURCZAK and
UCHWYT. They would prevent the ATTIC
MONSTER’S webs from catching and holding the boys. If the legend about the ATTIC MONSTER was
true no one would be caught in her webs.
IF THE LEGEND WAS TRUE!!!!!!
The boys slipped on the sheep
costumes. MELVIN ZWICK with his body
covered with sheep’s wool and his swords looked like a weird Knight of old in
one of C. S. Lewis‘s chapters of Narnia. So did ADELBERT with his costume and
spear. KURCZAK ’S sheep costume and his
B-B gun might confuse a casual observer.
He was part sheep and part Cowboy.
The boys had a great belly
laugh when they saw each other in the funny looking sheep’s costumes. MELVIN ZWICK took out his trusty camera and
took pictures of the boys and ADELBERT took a picture of MELVIN ZWICK.
Left to right: MELVIN ZWICK the
great Grandpa look alike, UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike, ADELBERT the
great Kyle look alike and KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike.
The did admit to each other that the girls did an excellent job in creating the costumes. They all looked like sheep standing on their hind legs. The only thing that spoiled the images was the weapons the boys were carrying.
UCHWYT was given instructions
to observe the action from the entrance to the attic and call 911 on his cell
phone incase the boys ran into trouble.
The adventure began by placing
Bachi Bachi's rickety step ladder under the trap door leading to the attic.
The plan was simple. Everyone would head to the corner where the
Polish Royal Family Treasure was expected to be.
That would require getting
through the ATTIC MONSTER’S webs then over the monster herself. ADELBERT the great Kyle look alike with his
massive mole slaying spear and KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike would
follow MELVIN ZWICK’S flashing samurai sword to the creature's lair.
It should be noted at this
point that Melvin Zwick possessed samurai swords brought to life be Muramasa
the master sword maker in 1534AD. They were
carried by the famous Miyamoto Musashi c.
1584 - 1645 the most famous Japanese swordsman and ronin of Japan.
The swords were priceless as
they were created by the Master sword maker Muramasa and carried my Mushasi.
There is legend that Muramasa
challenged his master teacher Masamune to see who could make a finer sword.
To test the swords, each sword
was held into the current of a stream.
Muramasa's sword was said to have cut a leaf in half that simply touched
the blade from the current alone. But
the master Masamune's sword did not cut a thing, with the leaves miraculously
avoiding it at the last second, as if to show it possessed a benevolent power
that would not harm anything that was innocent or undeserving- even a simple
leaf.
MELVIN ZWICK had brought
bright flood lights that would disorientate the monster.
Once the creature attacked it
would be MELVIN ZWICK'S task to remove her legs as KURCZAK shot her one eye
out. ADELBERT would send his spear into the body of the creature once Melvin
Zwick removed its legs so it could not deflect the spear throw.
SIMPLE RIGHT?
Melvin Zwick shouted,
"Let's go boys" after a brief prayer for good hunting.
The attic was filled with
spider webs as thick as 1/4 nylon ropes.
MELVIN ZWICK’S samurai swords
flashed as fast as lightening as they cut a path into the attic proper. It became obvious that the webs did not stick
to metal or wool as they slid off his samurai swords and his wool covered
body. An area around the attic entrance
was cleared in a very brief time.
MELVIN ZWICK set up the flood
lights once the area around the attic entrance was cleared. The light was initially blinding but MELVIN
ZWICKS eyes adjusted rapidly.
He could sense motion in the
far corner of the attic. The webs were
so thick in that corner the light never reached the far wall.
Melvin Zwick heard a faint
noise in that corner. So faint it was
almost inaudible. It was sort of a
slight clicking noise similar to a fork being tapped against a glass.
MELVIN ZWICK called down to
the boys. "Come on up boys. The ATTIC MONSTER is waiting for us."
KURCZAK the great Timothy look
alike with his B-B gun at the ready was next into the attic followed by
ADELBERT and his massive spear. UCHWYT
great Joseph look alike with his cell phone would climb the ladder high enough
so he could watch the action. His job
would be to call 911 incase there was a problem between the boys and the ATTIC
MONSTER .
When the boys were in place
MELVIN ZWICK started cutting his way to the ATTIC MONSTER’S lair. The ATTIC MONSTER must have been extremely
puzzled when she saw a sheep cutting its way into her lair. In the past sheep only stirred up dust
bunnies to sooth it massive appetite.
Now one sheep was cutting its way through the webs and was headed
directly to her.
One might wonder why no one
carried any fire arms. There was a good
reason for that.
The ATTIC MONSTER s webs were
so strong a bullet hitting them would cause the web to turn into a slingshot
and send the bullet back at the firer.
It would be extremely dangerous to fire a bullet at the ATTIC MONSTER
with all the webs around her.
The webs might be immune to
bullets but they were not immune to very sharp metal instruments like MELVIN
ZWICKS samurai swords or the massive mole slayer spear ADELBERT was carrying.
The stirring in the corner
became more active. The clicking noise
became much louder and at a more rapid sequence. MELVIN ZWICK the great band master recognized
the beat of the clicking noise. The beat
was around 180 clicks a minute. That is
almost as fast as a person can count.
The ATTIC MONSTER must have
realized that this time the sheep meant to do her some harm.
The clinking noise grew louder
as MELVIN ZWICK cut his way to the corner.
The webs became thicker and thicker.
But they were no match for the Samurai swords that was created by
Muramasa in 1534AD. The Swords that
Musashi carried into all of his many battles were now wielded by MELVIN ZWICK
the great sword master. The many years
of studying under the best sword masters in Japan was now paying off.
The Polish Royal Families Most
Valuable Treasure was about to be transferred to the hands of the valiant boys.
MELVIN ZWICK was so busy
slashing the webs at waist level he didn’t notice the ATTIC MONSTER’S leg that
had slid out from under the webs and wrapped itself around his right leg. The ATTIC MONSTER yanked the leg back with a
tremendous force pulling MELVIN ZWICK’S feet out from under him. MELVIN ZWICK landed on his bottom side in a
sitting position. The monster was
pulling MELVIN ZWICK on his bottom towards the her lair. As fast as the sitting MELVIN ZWICK slashed
the webs he could not reach the monsters leg.
He was being slowly dragged back into the corner, right into the lair of
the great ATTIC MONSTER .
ADELBERT leaped into
action. He thrust his long sharp spear
through the web towards what he thought might be the ATTIC MONSTER’S
heart. The well thrust spear traveled
into the webs a couple of feet than it hit something solid with a loud “thunk.”
The spear had hit a support beam.
ADELBERT pulled the spear back
again as MELVIN ZWICK was being pulled toward the ATTIC MONSTER itself. It would only be a few seconds before MELVIN
ZWICK would be under the venomous fangs of the ATTIC MONSTER . Their quest for the Royal Polish Most
Valuable Treasure was in jeopardy. It
might end in an instant if the venom hit any part of MELVIN ZWICK.
The razor sharp mole killing
spear was thrust again in the direction of the ATTIC MONSTER by ADELBERT . This time it slashed through the web into
something solid but giving. There was a
loud screech from the direction of the ATTIC MONSTER’S lair.
The noted mole killing spear
must have hit the ATTIC MONSTER. But it
still was dragging MELVIN ZWICK towards its sharp poisonous fangs.
The ATTIC MONSTER was sending
another leg through the webs towards ADELBERT .
KURCZAK the great Timothy
look alike noticed the ATTIC MONSTER had cleared a narrow tunnel through the
webs through which it could look at ADELBERT as it sent its leg towards him.
KURCZAK the great Timothy
look alike lets off a well aimed round from his trusty BB gun into the ATTIC
MONSTER’S one eye.
The monster screamed again as
its eyelid closed. The eyelid opened
again but it was obvious by the action of its searching, flailing leg it could
not see ADELBERT the great Kyle look alike.
ADELBERT pulled the great mole slayer spear back and thrust it again and
again. The ATTIC MONSTER screeched each
time ADELBERT made a strong thrust.
The intensity of the
screeching became less with each spear thrust.
The massive mole slaying spear must have been having the desired affect
on the ATTIC MONSTER. She was slowly
passing on.
While ADELBERT was thrusting
the massive mole slayer spear at the ATTIC MONSTER, MELVIN ZWICK was cutting
his way through the webs as he was being slowly dragged towards the lethal
ATTIC MONSTER’S poisonous fangs.
MELVIN ZWICK finally
discovered what the clicking noise was.
The ATTIC MONSTER was snapping her fangs together. At this close range the noise was extremely
loud.
With a swipe of the ultra
sharp samurai sword he cut himself loose from the ATTIC MONSTER just as her
poisonous fang started down towards his trapped legs. With a second massive swing of one of his
samurai swords he sent the tips of the ATTIC MONSTER’S fangs sailing back
deeper into the lair.
Another hazard immediately
presented itself. The venom from the
ATTIC MONSTER’S fangs was pouring out of her venom glands and falling to the
floor. The venom was so acidic it
immediately started eating holes in the floor where ever the drops fell. One drop on MELVIN ZWICK’S leg would make his
leg inoperable forever and might even send him on his way. There would be no time for an antidote.
As MELVIN ZWICK snapped back
his leg, which was still wrapped by the chopped off portion of the ATTIC
MONSTER’S leg, several drops of the venom fell on the wool costume MELVIN ZWICK
was wearing. The venoms acid content
started to eat its way through the wool MELVIN ZWICK was wearing.
MELVIN ZWICK immediately cut
off the wool contaoning the venom making sure none of the acid venom fell on
his exposed pant leg and eventually his skin.
As he did so he was extremely careful not to expose any of his wool
uncovered self to the webs. It would do
no good to have his legs trapped in the ATTIC MONSTER’S webs.
The ATTIC MONSTER gave one
terrifying scream as MELVIN ZWICK’S samurai sword slashed completely through
her body leaving two wiggling parts on the attic floor writhing in her own
venom. As MELVIN ZWICK did so he could
seen many of the slashes ADELBERT had made with his massive mole slaying spear.
The ATTIC MONSTER would never
scare anyone again. Her eggs which had
been in the leather trunk were no more.
They had been exploded with KURCZAK the great Timothy look alike well aimed
B-B shots. There would be no new ATTIC
MONSTER.
The next project was to find
the Polish Royal Family Treasure the ATTIC MONSTER and the senior Kowkarski
male members had been protecting and hiding for around 600 years.
MELVIN ZWICK with his samurai
sword and ADELBERT with his massive mole slaying spear finished cutting down
all the remaining ATTIC MONSTER’S webs.
KURCZAK the great Timothy look
alike called out saying he noticed the cut webs were not sticking to the
floor. He said he tested the cut webs
stickiness and found it lacking.
ADELBERT the great Kyle look alike checked the webs out. The boys came to the conclusion the webs lost
their power stick to things the second they were cut.
All the webs were cut and
pushed out of the way.
MELVIN ZWICK stated getting the
queasy feeling up and down his back. Why
was that happening now. They had just
eliminated the ATTIC MONSTER, cut all the webs making them shrivel up and
become non-sticky. All the boys had to
do was find the Polish Royal Family Treasure.
That should not make his back start feeling queasy again. What was the cause? As he was busy checking things out the
feeling became more intense. WHY? The boys had even eliminated the spider eggs
in the trunk. Then the cause of the
queasy feeling became clear. There were
probably more eggs in the attic some place.
When the ATTIC MONSTER lost the trunk with her eggs she probably created
a few more in the attic.
MELVIN ZWICK immediately told
UCHWYT to look for some gold colored transparent balls. They probably were somewhere along the edge
of the attic far away from the trap door.
UCHWYT immediately started his
quest. Within minutes he yelled out he
had found a nest. Before he could say
anything more he stomped his foot down on the attic floor.
MELVIN ZWICK , ADELBERT and
KURCZAK ran to UCHWYT side.
They looked down and found a spider about the size of a saucer squished
flat against the attic floor. While they
were viewing the squished baby ATTIC MONSTER another eggs started to
jiggle. Within a few seconds a new ATTIC
MONSTER was born. KURCZAK the great
Timothy look alike did the stomping this time.
The boys liked like they were dancing a jig the stomped ATTIC MONESTER
after ATTICMONSTER baby as they were being born. It took about twelve stomps to flatten all
the newborn ATTIC MONSTERS.
MELVIN ZWICK asked KURCZAK and
UCHWYT to thoroughly check all the attic.
He didn’t want to take any chances that a new attic monster would be
born and take over the attic.
It was time to put the ATTIC
MONSTER scare to bed. It would probably
take a generation or two before the ATTIC MONSTER myth would fade into
oblivion.
The boys decided they should
remove their sheeps wool costumes. They
suits made the boys extremely hot in the heat of the battle. Anyone who wears a sheep wool sweater knows
how warm they can be.
I, MELVIN ZWICK wonders how
warm a sheep gets. But that another
story better answered by the Crossroads Country Ranch Sheep raiser, Miss Lydia.
The boys had worked up quite a
sweat under the sheep wool costumes.
They were soaking wet. The
evaporation of the sweat caused them to cool rapidly. That felt good.
MELVIN ZWICK moved the flood
lights towards the ATTIC MONSTER’S corner.
Nothing. The floor was bare
except for slowly shrinking pieces of web.
Then it dawned on KURCZAK there was a large amount of floor covered by
the bottom of the ATTIC MONSTER . The
boys made an attempt to move the lower half of the ATTIC MONSTER. It was too heavy for them to move.
ADELBERT and MELVIN ZWICK
proceeded to slice the ATTIC MONSTER into smaller bits to reduce its weight as
KURCZAK and UCHWYT look for more eggs.
When the remaining portion of
the ATTIC MONSTER had been reduced to a light weight MELVIN ZWICK slipped the
flat edge of his samurai sword under it and flipped it over. There it was.
A small beautiful inlaid wood box trimmed by gold ribs. It was about 8 inches by 6 inches.
It surely could not contain
much gold. Maybe it contained diamonds,
rubies and emeralds.
MELVIN ZWICK, studied it to
insure there was not any ATTIC MONSTER venom on it. After all the boys had been through it would
be terrible to end the day with a drop of ATTIC MONSTER venom on exposed skin. That would be a terrible way to end this days
great adventure and maybe ones life.
The box was free of web and
venom.
MELVIN ZWICK gently, but with
great excitement picked the small box up.
It was way too light to contain any large amount of gold or gems.
MELVIN ZWICK gently shook it. There was a slight sound of something moving inside the box. The sound was not that of something hard and solid.
That meant the Polish Royal
Family treasure was a puzzle box.
What better person to open the
puzzle box than MELVIN ZWICK. He was a
master of solving puzzles. There was no
puzzle he could not solve.
He was a master at designing
puzzle boxes and building them.
He loved the challenge of
designing puzzle boxes. The smell of fresh
cut wood just heightened the joy of building puzzle boxes.
ADELBERT knew the joy of
working with wood. He had just helped
Kyle build a great dog house for a friend.
The Polish Royal Family
Treasure box was wrapped in a part of ADELBERT soft jacket. CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA would not complain
about using his jacket to protect the Polish Royal Family Treasure.
It would be ADELBERT
responsibility to not let the Polish Royal Family Treasure box out of his
sight. He formed his jacket into a belly
pack and placed the box in it. That pack
would not leave his person until the boys were in the Crossroads Country Ranch.
Opening the box would have to
wait. It was time to take the boys back
to Mossyrock.
It would be getting dark
soon. The boys needed to get to the
airport.
KURCZAK and UCHWYT found not
more eggs. The ATTIC MONSTER myth would
forever die as the boys left the attic.
On the way to the airport the
boys had to pass through a shady part of town.
There was a detour which took the boys of the main road. The detour leaded the adventurers down a very
dark street surrounded by warehouses. It
did not look good.
The boys adventure had not
ended yet.
Three shady looking characters
came up to the van while it was stopped at a traffic light. One had a pistol in his hand. He ordered the boys out of the van. Little did the bad guys realize that they had
just made a tremendous mistake. Taking
on the adventures who had just wiped out an extremely poisonous spider was
something that was the best of ideas.
Especially MELVIN ZWICK the fifth degree Black Belt in Shotokan
Karate. His hands were so fast he could
break a 1x12x6 pine board in mid air after he dropped it from about shoulder
height. Very few Karate masters can do
that.
The three bad guys all wore
leather jackets with an emblem of a character with a pitchfork emblazoned on
the back. They appeared to belong to
some gang.
The boys got out as
ordered. They were ordered to move
against the wall of the building on the corner.
They did as commanded. It was not
yet time to let the thugs feel the
vengeance of the ATTIC MONSTER killers.
The bad guy with the gun made
the mistake of standing in front of MELVIN ZWICK.
The boys were not about to be
shot and killed after all they had been through. They would give up what ever the thugs wanted
other than their lives, the Polish Royal Family Treasure box, the samurai
swords or the Mole Slayer Spear. The
thugs would make a terrible mistake if they attempted to get any of those
things. They would have more violence
rain down on their heads than one could ever could imagine.
The thugs told the boys they
must pay a fee for traveling on the Knights of Satin’s road. They said the road and neighborhood belonged
to the Knights of Satin.
One of the bad characters
ordered the boys to empty their pockets.
MELVIN ZWICK told the boys to
comply with the command. The loss of a
few dollars was not worth fighting for.
The bad guys had not threatened to take any of the very valuable
treasures yet.
Two of the thugs approached
the boys and collected the contents of their pockets.
After collecting all the money
one thug stepped in front of ADELBERT and another stepped in front of UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike, KURCZAK
the great Timothy look alike.
The bad guy with the pistol
started a discussion with his partners as to whether or not he should plug the
boys. The situation was getting
worse. The thugs were laughing and
taunting the boys threatening to kill them.
The Knights were slapping the boys faces calling them cowards.
One of the Knights of Satin
punched MELVIN ZWICK in the stomach.
This punch was nothing compared to the many punches he had received in
his many martial art classes.
The thug in front of ADELBERT
ordered him to give up the belly pack.
ADELBERT was not about to give
up the Polish Royal Family Treasure.
The thug pulled a knife and threatened slice ADELBERT. He would do some carving on him if he didn’t
give him the belly pack.
ADELBERT remembered some of
the self defense techniques MELVIN ZWICK had taught him, “When a bad guy threatens you, you treat him
like a snake and put him down hard.”
He looked over at MELVIN ZWICK
and did a slight nod to alert him that things were about to start.
MELVIN ZWICK got the message.
MELVIN ZWICK needed to prepare
to attack. He would have to time his
action with ADELBERT’S attack. The first
target of MELVIN ZWICK’S action would have to be the Knights of Satin guy with
the pistol. He was close enough that he
would not be able to react to any action MELVIN ZWICK might take.
MELVIN ZWICK taunted the gun
toting bad guy with the expectation the guy would move even closer to him and
threaten him with gun.
It worked. The gun toting thug stepped forward and poked
MELVIN ZWEICK in the belly with the pistol.
MELVIN ZWICK gave ADELBERT a
quick nod to tell him to go ahead and blast the thug in front of him.
Things happened in a
flash.
ADELBERT got the message and
kicked the thug in the groin then slide stepped to the side of the bad guy,
than slash the edge of his right hand down on the bad guys neck as he was bent
over in pain from the kick. The bad guy
went down like a dropped sack of potatoes and laid there completely still face
down on the street.
MELVIN ZWICK used to break
river rocks for fun with the same hand technique ADELBERT used on the bad guys
neck.
The bad guy would not wake
soon.
ADELBERT being the gentleman he was apologized to MELVIN for taking
brutal action against a fellow man.
MELVIN ZIWCK said no
apologizes were necessary as he sized up the fellow with the gun in front of
him. He had to react rapidly as ADELBERT
had started the action.
It is a know fact in the
Martial arts world that a trained person could take a gun away from a bad guy
before the bad guy could pull the trigger.
The defender in his mind would
decide what action to take and when. He
then would make a move to disarm the bad guy.
The bad guy would not know any
action is coming. He has to see see the
action the victim is taking. The time it
takes for the bad guy to see the action, think that he needs to react, then
order his finger to pull the trigger is far longer than it takes the defender
to act and remove the pistol.
MELVIN ZWICK had practiced
this scenario many times in his many years in the best Dojos in the world. In practice in the Dojo the attacker used
water pistols with the intent of squirting the defender with water from the
pistol. A wet Gi (official karate training
uniform) meant the attacker had succeeded in shooting the defender. The goal of the session was to go home with a
dry Gi.
All MELVIN ZWICK had to do was
decide which of the many technique he would use to disarm the bad guy.
The bad guy with the gun made
it easy for MELVIN ZWICK to decide on the action he needed to take. The fellow jammed the pistol again into
MELVIN ZWICK’S belly just as ADELBERT jumped into action. That was a very bad mistake for the bad
guys.
The attacker held the pistol
in his right hand.
MELVIN ZWICK snapped down and
grabbed the pistol from above with his right hand so that his little finger was
under the hammer of the pistol. The
grabbing of the pistol may seem awkward.
The bottom edge of the hand is facing the bad guy.
Even if the bad guy pulled the
trigger the hammer could not fall on the firing pin because MELVIN ZWICK’S
little finger was in the way.
MELVIN ZWICK reached up with
his left hand and grabbed the underside of the attackers hand and pistol. With both hands he twisted the pistol 180
degrees clockwise and pulled it back towards his body as he stepped back. The action caused the trigger guard to break
the bad guys trigger finger and nearly sever it from his hand.
Just for a moment imagine your
right trigger finger on the trigger in the trigger guard. Now imagine rotating the firearm 180 degrees
clockwise as the weapon is pulled away from you. The finger is caught in the housing . The front edge of the trigger guard is not
real sharp but imagine the damage it would do to the trigger finger as it is
rotated into the back of the finger.
The screech of the wounded bad
guy was so loud it could be heard for miles.
As the pistol was pulled back it mangled the trigger finger of the bad
guy.
The bones in the finger would
be shattered leaving the finger hanging by tendons and skin. Not a pretty sight but remember the bad guy
had threatening to shoot MELVIN ZWICK.
The trigger finger would be so badly damaged it would never be able to
function in the future.
MELVIN ZWICK now had the
pistol.
In all the action MELVIN ZWICK
did not notice that UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike, KURCZAK the great
Timothy look alike had each kicked the shin of the third bad guy. After kicking him in the chin they stomped
down on his feet. As he was howling in
pain they snapped his ears. That bad guy
was on his knees howling in pain. It was
a good bet several bones in his feet were broken and his ear drums were
collapsed. He might never hear rap music
again.
The bad guys never knew what
hit them. The ATTIC MONSTER slayers had
struck again.
MELVIN ZWICK ordered the
Knights of Satin to stand up.
The one guy ADELBERT had kicked
and hit just barely picked himself off the ground. The fellow that had been in
front of UCHWYT and KURCZAK just knelt
there howling. It was obvious with his
shattered ear drums he could not hear MELVIN ZWICKS command.
MELVIN ZWICK ordered the other
two bad guys to help their buddy up.
The ATTIC MONSTER slayers now
discussed what to do next.
The correct action would be to
turn the bad guys over to the police but they knew they had to get back to
Mossyrock. That meant they did not have
time to spend turning these bad guys over to the police. It might be difficult for MELVIN ZWICK to
explain what the boys had been doing in Bachi Bachi’s attic. The police might try to retain the Polish
Royal Family Treasure box, the samurai swords and the mole slaying spear as
evidence. That would not do.
That meant the boys had to
leave the bad guys without any police action.
But the thugs needed to be taught a lesson. The pain they had received was not enough to
teach them a good lesson. They might let
their wounds heal than return to their old ways.
The gun toting guy had already
learned a lesson. The pain of his
damaged finger was immense. The damaged
finger would never function again.
The guy that ADELBERT had
attacked would have tremendous pain in his neck for the rest of his life. Maybe a chiropractor might be able to
straightened his neck out.
The bad guy in front of UCHWYT and KURCZAK would
probably never hear well again and might have to hobble on broken feet for the
rest of his life.
Yes the bad
guys who thought they were tough guys.
They probably had been tormenting the neighborhood. But they went down to their knees in front of
the ATTIC MONSTER slayers.
MELVN ZWICK decided to take
the following action. His plan was to make the thugs never torment anyone. He would cause the boys to be GREATLY
embarrassed. He ordered them to strip
down to their birthday suits. After they
were stripped MELVIN ZWICK ordered the thugs to back against the chain link
fence next to the building. He ordered
them to spread their arms out away from their bodies.
He had the boys strip the shoe
laced from the bad guys shoes. He then
told the boys to use the shoe laces to tie the bad guys fingers to the chain
link fence. After the thugs were tied to
the fence the boys put blindfolds on the thugs faces and stuffed socks in their
mouths. That way they would see no one
or be able to yell for help.
This would leave the bad guys
blind and spread eagled with their butts against the fence, their bare front
side for all to see. There would be no
way they could free themselves.
MELVIN ZWICK figured they
would be found by decent folks on their way to work the next morning. The decent folk of the neighborhood probably
hated the Knights of Satin and would love to see these boys so encumbered. Because the thugs were blindfolded they could
not see the decent folk laughing at them and tormenting them. The good folks of the neighborhood could
release some of their pent up anger against the thugs and the Knights could not
take any reprisals. The decent folk
could torment the bad guys for a while before any of their fellow Knights of
Satin would be out of bed to rescue them.
The adventurers would leave
them there to be found by the neighbors.
Their embarrassment would be so great they would have to leave the
neighborhood.
The neighbors would say
hallelujah for the trouble makers leaving.
Good riddance to bad rubbish they would say.
It was on to Mossyrock as the
boys climbed back into the van leaving the bad guys spread eagled against the
fence mumbling for mercy.
The plan was to catch a flight
from Tucson direct to Portland.
One more challenge
existed. How to get MELVIN ZWICK’S
priceless samurai swords and ADELBERT massive mole slayer spear back home.
Airlines frown on allowing
weapons on board passenger aircraft.
The samurai swords were too
valuable to ship or have the airlines luggage handlers handle them.
MELVIN ZWICK, the renown
adventurer and secret agent for the Government had special waivers to carry
weapons on aircraft. The waivers had
been granted by the CIA to allow him to carry weapons on flights while he was
on special secret missions for the Government.
The samurai sword and the mole
killing spear and B-B gun would be placed in a secure carrier provided by the
airlines. The carrier is sealed by an
agent at the check in station. Once
sealed the carrier can be carried on the aircraft by MELVIN ZWICK.
It is impossible to open the
case unless you know the combination of the lock which is a secret and held by
the airlines.
Little do the airlines know
that MELVIN ZWICK, the master lock picker can open the case in less than 10
seconds.
But that’s another story. On to Mossyrock.
The flight was
uneventful. The boys were all anxious to
open the box and determine what the Polish Royal Family Treasure was. What could be so valuable in the small box
that would require the Kowkarski family members to guard it for 600 years? That determination would have to wait until
MELVIN ZWICK could sit down at the Crossroads Country Ranch and concentrate on
opening the box.
The aircraft landed smoothly
after a very smooth flight. It was
downloaded in a very rapid manner.
The entire Crossroads Country
Ranchers were at the Portland airport to meet the heroes of the ATTIC MONSTER
adventure. There were lots of hugs and
kisses all around.
The two hour trip to Mossyrock
from the Portland airport seemed to last no more that a few minutes as the Boys
related their adventure in the attic to the Ranchers.
The best description of the
entire adventure was given by UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike. He was best pone to describe the adventure as
was standing on the ladder high enough to see all the action. His description was complete in every
detail. He even related all the words
the boys shouted as they fought the ATTIC MONSTER.
MELVIN ZWICK saying, “The
legend of the ATTIC MONSTER’S webs not sticking to wool is true. We can get after the ATTIC MONSTER . Come on boys the ATTIC MONSTER waits for us.”
ADELBERT the great Kyle look
alike shouting to MELVIN ZWICK, “The ATTIC MONSTER has your leg MELVIN. I’ll see if I can distract it by sending my
Mole Slaying Spear into its heart.”
“Watch out for the fangs.”
KURCZAK the great Timothy look
alike shouting, “I can see the ATTIC MONSTER’S eye. Let me get a shot with my trusty B-B gun.”
Everyone had a great big laugh
when UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike let loose with his best imitation of
the ATTIC MONSTER ’S scream when she was hit by ADELBERT Mole Slaying Spear and
KURCZAK well placed B-B in her eye.” The sound was like that of the howl a cat
lets out when its tail is stepped on.
Only it was at least a hundred times louder. UCHWYT re-enactment of the sound was given
quick shutoff as the sound was deafening.
The group really let out a big
belly laugh when MEIVIN ZWICK demonstrated how the boys had done a jig stomping
the baby ATTIC MONSTERS. MELVIN ZWICK
really looked funny dancing a jig.
The Ranchers really laughed
when the boys told them about the bad guys and how they had been tied to the
fence after they had been stripped to their birthday suits. Those thugs really let out a muffled howl
when they were left in their condition.
The first thing the group did
on arriving at the Ranch was to have a hearty dinner. What more could MELVIN ZWICK ask for other
than White Chili and Corn Bread. There
was monkey bread and Pecan pie with added in chocolate chips. What a dinner the girls had prepared for the
great ATTIC MONSTER slayers.
The Crossroads Country Ranchers
are the bestest Chefs in the world. They
belong on a cooking show on TV.
UCHWYT the great Joseph look
alike, MELVIN ZWICK the great Grandpa look alike and KURCZAK the great Timothy
look alike and monkey bread the lady ranchers made for the boys in celebration
of their great adventure.
The table was cleaned and the
dishes were washed. All the ranchers sat
down at the dinning table as MELVIN ZWICK removed the beautiful wooden box from
ADELBERT soft jacket where it had laid hidden since it was placed there when
the boys were in the lair of the now deceased ATTIC MONSTER .
A table lamp was set up next
to MELVIN ZWICK. He pulled out his 10
power magnification lens and started to examine the box. It was not long before MELVIN ZWICK the great
puzzle solver had spotted all the well hidden joints of the box.
Puzzle boxes are thought to
have been developed in Japan around 1870.
If the legend of the Kowkarski family guarding a Polish Royal Family
Treasure is true this box on the Ranchers table was at least 600 years
old. This Polish box had to be a lot
older than any Japanese puzzle box.
Puzzle boxes are opened by
sliding various pieces of the walls of the box in a sequential order.
The first piece is moved a
short distance. If the move is correct a
second piece is unlocked which allows it to be moved a short distance. If the move of the second piece is correct a
third piece may be moved. This process
is followed by moving as many as six pieces a short distance. The sequence may be repeated several
times. Piece may be moved three times
before the box is opened. If any piece
is moved incorrectly the process is stopped until that piece is correctly
moved.
The exact sequence has to be
followed in order to allow the lid to be slid open.
MELVIN ZWICK started by trying
to slide one end strip. It did not take
long before he found the first strip the could be moved He slid that piece a short distance to the
right. He looked for a second strip that
should be unlocked so it could be moved.
Nothing. Apparently he had slid
the first piece either too far or not enough.
He moved that piece back a slight distance. The search for the second piece began
again. This time the strip below the
first piece slid down. MELVIN ZWICK
moved the bottom piece a short distance.
MELVIN ZWICK attempted to move
all the various strips he had discovered.
Again nothing. He moved the
bottom piece down a little farther. The
search for the third piece started again.
This time the lid move a short distance.
The lid moved in the open
direction on the third, ninth, fifteenth move.
The treasure in the box was wrapped in a heavy leather wrapper. It could not be removed from the box until
the box was fully opened.
The process of moving a strips
a short distance was followed until MELVIN ZWICK had made 21 moves. On the twenty first move the lid slid fully
open. The box was now open. The wrapped treasure in the box was now free
to be removed.
All the ranchers stood up and leaned forward to try to get a glimpse of the great Polish Royal Family Treasure that had been in the treasure box for around 600 years.
Just a side note: MELVIN ZWICK
made the following drawing to illustrate the moves that were required to open
the Polish Royal Family Treasure box.
The moves of the strips are made in the sequence shown.
With great anxiety and
excitement MELVIN ZWICK lifted out the contents of the box. What would the Polish Royal Family Treasure
be. It was obvious from the weight of
the treasure that it was not gold or gems.
There was a fine sheep’s wool
cord wrapped several time around the leather item. MELVIN ZWICK untied the wool knot and
unwrapped the cord.
The cord was set aside for the
time being. It would eventually end up
in fine package put together by CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA and the Lady Ranchers to
commemorate the adventure. The cord,
box, sheep costumes, photos and other items of the ATTIC MONSTER raid would be
carefully documented and stored in a very professional manner. That would become the Crossroads Country
Ranchers Great Treasure that would be shared with future generations of the
Ranchers.
The Polish Royal Family Treasure appeared to be a rolled up piece of very thin leather. Maybe there was a map locating the Polish Royal Family Treasure drawn on the leather strip. They only way to find out if there was a treasure map drawn on the leather was to unroll it.
The Ranchers and the Boys were
talking to themselves and each other as MELVIN ZWICK started to unroll the
leather strip. All were wondering what
the strip of thin leather might reveal.
A map to a treasure. Some secret
to a hidden message. WHAT?????????????
“COME ON MELVIN ZWICK UNROLL
THE STRIP” seemed to be the general comments from the family.
MELVIN ZWICK slipped the back
edge of his ever present pocket knife under the edge of the rolled up leather
strip and carefully lifted it up. MELVIN
ZWICK was not sure how well the leather strip had weathered the 600 years it
had been in existence so he handled every step with great care.
The lifted up portion seemed
to be very flexible. MELVIN ZWICK took
the roll and the lead edge and placed it on the center of the table.
He then started to slowly roll
the leather coil away from the lead edge.
The family in unison let out a
gasp as words started to appear on the exposed leather strip. What did the exposed words say? They were
written in Polish.
MELVIN ZWICK decided it best to
translate the words before any further unrolling was accomplished.
The following very faint words
were seen on the start of the leather roll.
OSTRZEŻENIE
Informacje w tym dokumencie
NIE być ujawniane nikomu poza POLSKI CZŁONKÓW rodziny królewskiej i ich
pracowników do gotowania.
Każdy użytkownik przyłapany
udostępnieniem takiej informacji do nie POLSKIEGO PAŃSTWA ROYAL YFAMILY
zostanie wysłana na szubienicę.
Kyle whipped out a pencil and
immediately copied the message on the back of the handiest piece of paper he
found. The paper just happened to be a
drawing UCHWYT the great Joseph look alike drew of the ATTIC MONSTER.
Everyone proof read Kyle’s
written words to insure he had copied the message correctly. As precise as Kyle is the proofreading was
really not necessary. Kyle did not make
mistakes.
Lydia fired up her computer
and brought up GOGGLE translate and typed in the words of the message. Instantly the translation of the Polish
message showed up.
Everyone gave out the cry, ‘What does the message say.”
Lydia read the translation
showing on the screen.
“WARNING
THE INFORMATION IN THIS
DOCUMENT WILL NOT BE DIVULGED TO ANYONE OTHER THAN POLISH ROYAL FAMILY MEMBERS
AND THEIR COOKING STAFF.
ANYONE CAUGHT RELEASING THIS
INFORMATION TO A NON POLISH ROYAL YFAMILY MEMBER WILL BE SENT TO THE GALLOWS.”
That set everyone back. “SENT TO THE GALLOWS.” WHOA wait a
minute. The thought of the gallows
turned everyone cold. What message could
be so secret that the Polish Royal Family would send to the gallows anyone who
reveled the secret to anyone other than a Polish Royal family Member of their
cooking staff?
Everyone relaxed as they
realized there was no one to enforce the rule.
Then everyone realized the
secret could be told to the Polish Royal Family and the cooking staff. What does that mean? Why would the cooking
staff be privileged to the Polish Family Secret Treasure?
What does that mean? is the treasure a recipe?
Valerie and Victoria said
simultaneously “This is getting weird.”
Lydia immediately was thrilled
that she might have a new recipe for her cook book. She said, “Can you imagine what it would be
like to place a Polish Royal family secret recipe on her blog?”
There was only one way to find
out. Unroll some more of the leather
coil.
MELVIN ZWICK started to unroll
the coil again. New words showed
up. What did they say?
Polska Rodzina Królewskiego Sekretu
Victoria was next to put the
Polish words into GOOGLE translate program.
“Polish Royal Family Secret”
Well the Ranchers sort of knew
that. Nothing new here.
More unrolling and more
words. Maybe the next words will reveal
what this secret is all about.
Polski Babies Wypełnionych Chleb Monkey
VICTORIA was next on the
computer. She typed in
“Polski Babies Wypełnionych Chleb Monkey.”
The translation came out,
“Polish Babies filled Monkey Bread.”
What is that? “Polish Babies
filled Monkey Bread.” Something was
wrong. What does that mean? Does it mean, “Polish babies are filled with
Monkey Bread?” What does that have to do with a Royal Family Treasure.
Does it mean monkey bread
filled with polish babies? Something was lost in the translation but what?
The Ranch detectives went to
work in rearranging the message. They
finally came up with, “Polish Babies
filled with Monkey Bread.” They came to that conclusion because of a cartoon
MELVIN ZWICK had sent the Rancher several weeks earlier.
The thought of a treasure
disappeared as everyone was now concentrating on what the message said. Could it be the message is coded and when
decoded it would lead to something else.
Caroline was first to
encourage MELVIN ZWICK to unroll some more of the coil.
The next words were as
follows. This message would require a
lot of typing so CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA was sent to the computer GOOGLE
translate program. She typed in the following
words as they appeared on the leather page.
POLSKI BABIES
składniki
2 jajka
1 / 2 szklanki mleka
1 / 2 szklanki przesianej mąki wszystkich
1 szczypta mielonej gałki muszkatołowej
1 szczypta soli
2 łyżki masła
Cukru 2 łyżki cukierników "do odkurzania
dojazd
Miejsce 10 cali ciężkie żelazo patelni wewnątrz
piekarnika i piec do podgrzewania do bardzo gorące.
W średniej misce, beat jaj z wielu powiązanych ze sobą
słomek do światła. Dodaj mleko i
wymieszać. Stopniowo mieszać wielu
słomki opleciony mąki, sól i gałkę muszkatołową.
Usuń patelnię z piekarnika i zmniejszyć wydzielanie
ciepła piekarnik trochę.
Masło roztopić w gorącej patelni, tak aby wewnątrz
patelni jest całkowicie pokryte z masłem.
Wlać wszystkie ciasta w patelni i powrót patelni do piekarnika.
Piec aż dmuchany i lekko rumiane, około 12 minut. Usuń szybko i posypać cukrem pudrem.
One would have to give
CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA a lot of credit for typing the Polish message into the
computer. Each Polish word had to be
spelled out letter by letter.
After about of 20 minutes of
typing, back spacing and retyping the GOOGLE Translate program produced the
following:
POLISH BABIES
components
2 eggs
1 / 2 cup milk
1 / 2 cup sifted flour all
1 pinch ground nutmeg
1 pinch of salt
2 tablespoons butter
Sugar 2 tablespoons confectioners' Vacuum
access
Place 10-inch heavy skillet iron inside the oven and preheat oven to
very hot.
In a medium bowl, beat eggs with many interrelated straws to
light. Add milk and mix. Gradually stir many braided straw flour, salt
and nutmeg.
Remove the pan from the oven and reduce oven heat a little.
Melt butter in hot pan, so that the inside of the pan is completely
coated with butter. Pour all the cakes
in a skillet and return pan to oven.
Bake until puffed and lightly browned, about 12 minutes. Remove quickly and sprinkle with powdered
sugar.
The four young ranchers all
hollered at the same time, “Dutch Babies.” Could it be the Polish were first to
create what we know today as Dutch Babies?
The Polish create Polish Babies but hide the receipt until someone gave
the secret to a Dutch individual. And
that Dutch person would take credit for developing Dutch Babies.
Did someone go to the gallows
for the indiscretion of revealing the Polish secret?
Questions that probably would
never be answered.
Then the realization of what
was first expected of the Royal Family Secret Treasure. Was the secret nothing more than the recipe
for Polish Babies better know today as Dutch Babies.
But wait the leather coil was
not totally unrolled. There must be more
information on the rest of leather strip.
Come on MELVIN ZWICK unroll
the rest of the coil. Lay it all out on
the table.
The next and final words were
as follows:
CHLEB MONKEY
składniki:
1 1 / 2 ciasta drożdżowego sprężonego
1 szklanka mleka
4 łyżki cukru
1 łyżka soli
1 / 2 kostki masła, roztopionego oraz stopione masło
na zanurzenie
3 1 / 2 szklanki mąki, przesiewa
1. Rozgrzej
piekarnik do bardzo gorąco.
2. Mleko się w
ciężkich dnie patelni na małym ogniu.
Mieszać od czasu do czasu do czasu pojawiają się małe pęcherzyki wokół
krawędzi miski i mleko jest tylko gorąca (nie gotować). Zdjąć z ognia, ostudzić lekko.
3. Drożdży
Miejsce i parzone mleko w dużej misce.
Gdy drożdże rozpuszcza się, dodać cukier, sól i masło. Dodać mąkę, pokonać dobrze.
5. Po
wyrośnięciu okazać się na lekko posypanej mąką powierzchni. Uderzenie w dół i dobiegu do grubości 1 / 4
cala.
6. Pokroić na 2
"diament w kształcie kawałków. Dip
każdy kawałek w roztopionym masłem.
7.
Rozmieszczanie elementów w 4 "pan pie, 4 lub 5 sztuk na
nakładających się bochenek. Pozostawić
do wyrośnięcia na pół godziny.
5. Po
wyrośnięciu okazać SIĘ Na lekko posypanej maka powierzchni. Uderzenie w Dół i dobiegu do grubości 1 / 4
cala.
6. Pokroić na 2
"diament w kształcie kawałków. Dip
każdy Kawałek roztopionym w
7.
Rozmieszczanie elementów w 4 "pan pie, 4 lub 5 sztuk na
nakładających się bochenek. Pozostawić
do wyrośnięcia na pół godziny.
8. Piec 30 do
40 minut, aż brązowy. Wyjmij z
piekarnika i posmarować więcej z roztopionym masłem.
lukier Przepis
składniki:
1 / 2 funta sera
1 / 2 funta masła
1 funt cukru pudru
1 łyżeczka ekstraktu z wanilii
1 łyżeczka soku z cytryny
Sposób użycia:
1.Allow ser i masło, aby dostać się do temperatury
pokojowej.
2. Pokonaj
masła i sera ze sobą w dużej misce z mieszadłem.
3. Powoli
dodawać wartości funta cukru pudru.
4. Po
wszystkich cukier puder dodaje się mieszać przez 12 minut (nie mieszać mniej).
Oh no. Another recipe.
Valerie volunteered to type these words into GOOGLE. After much backspacing and retyping Valerie
finish typing in the Polish message.
The translation came back
follows.
MONKEY BREAD
Ingredients:
1 1/2 compressed yeast cakes
1 cup milk
4 Tablespoons sugar
1 Tablespoon salt
1/2 cup butter, melted plus melted butter for dipping
3 1/2 cups flour, sifted
Directions:
2. Place milk in heavy bottomed
pan on low heat. Stir occasionally until
small bubbles appear around the edges of the pan and milk is just hot (do not
boil). Remove from heat; let cool
slightly.
3. Place yeast and scalded milk
in a large bowl. When yeast is
dissolved, stir in sugar, salt and butter.
Add flour; beat well.
4. Cover and allow dough to rise
to almost double (approximately 45 minutes).
5. After dough has risen, turn
out onto lightly floured work surface.
Punch down and roll out to 1/4 inch thickness.
6. Cut into 2" diamond
shaped pieces. Dip each piece in melted
butter.
7. Arrange the pieces in a
4" pie pan, 4 or 5 overlapping pieces per loaf. Allow to rise for 1/2 hour.
8. Bake 30 to 40 minutes or
until brown. Remove from oven and brush
with more of the melted butter.
Icing Recipe
Ingredients:
1/2 pound cream cheese
1/2 pound butter
1 pound powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon lemon juice
Directions:
1. Allow cream cheese and butter to get to room temperature.
2. Beat butter and cream cheese
together in a large bowl with a mixer.
3. Slowly add in the pound of
powdered sugar.
4. After all the powdered sugar
is added mix for 12 minutes (do not mix less than that).
5. When almost done, add in the
extract and lemon juice.
Oh No!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that???????
The Polish Royal Family
Treasure is nothing but a recipe for Monkey Bread stuffed in Dutch Babies.
Everyone really loves Dutch
Babies and Monkey Bread and the combination must be absolutely fabulous but a
Treasure they are not.
All the Ranchers started
imagining the Royal Family of Poland sitting around a large table with their
weird dressed friends and enemies eating Polish Babies stuffed with Monkey
Bread.
Back in those days everyone
used their fingers to eat with. When
they finished eating the meat off a bone they would throw the bone to the dogs
that were sitting near the table. The
thought of people with such eating habits eating delicate Monkey Bread Stuffed
Dutch Babies seemed to be sort of odd.
Than the thought of the
Kowkarski family along with the only ATTIC MONSTER in the world guarding
recipes for at least 600 years that have been know to the world for a hundred
years or more. If Mr. Kowkarski had not died unexpectedly his
family would still be guarding the Polish Royal Family Treasure.
The Kowkarski family and the
ATTIC MONSTER, by protecting the recipes, prevented the famous Dutch Babies
from being known as Polish Babies. Although
everyone laughed and said Dutch Babies sounds a lot better than Polish Babies.
How many young people in the
world would ever have an adventure like the removing of the ATTIC MONSTER from
the world.
Every one in the family sat
around and laughed about the adventure.
There was continuous talk about the adventure almost as I no one wanted
to let the memory slip away.
Then the ATTIC MONSTER monsters
started to drift away. They had had had
a great adventure and needed some sleep.
The adventure would have to be
relived in their dreams.
The next day was spent
reviewing the adventure again.
After a while the Fabulous
lady Ranchers got up and prepared a fabulous dinner for the adventurers. Steak and Baked potatoes, white chili, corn
bread, pecan pie with chocolate chips and last but be no mean the least, Monkey
Bread stuffed Dutch Babies.
ADELBERT the great Kyle look
alike, the beautiful Miss Victoria and MELVIN ZWICK the great Grandpa look
alike about to dive into some very tasty and tender steaks COMPUTER GURU DADDY
prepared for the ATTIC MONSTER adventurers.
The lady Ranchers prepared the now well talked about Polish Royual Family treasure. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a way to end one adventure and start a new one. Monkey Bread stuffed Dutch Babies. The Polish Royal Family really did have a great treasure.
It seems three leaders of the
Knights of Satin who are known for the viciousness were found tied in their
birthday suite to a chain link fence in Tucson.
There was several properly covered up photos to show the bad guys in the
compromised position.
They complained to the press
that they had been terribly embarrassed and taunted by unknown strangers until
they were rescued. They said they would
leave town as soon as their feet would carry them, well at least after they
could find some clothes.
Several of the local residents,
with their identity concealed, laughed and said it was about time some of the
Knights of Satin got what the deserved.
They thanked who ever had tied up the Knights in their birthday suits to
the fence.
The residents said they were
no longer threatened by the Knights and would see that they all left town.
The ranchers and the ATTIC
MONSTERS had another great belly laugh.
While sitting in the
Crossroads Country Ranch living room surrounded by CHOCOLATE LOVING MOMMA,
COMPUTER GURU DADDY, Lydia, Kyle, Valerie, Victoria, Caroline, Timothy, Joseph
and Benjamin MELVIN ZWICK realized he had the greatest treasure in the
world. The Bowes Family.
Hey MELVIN ZWICK said, “Who
needs a treasure of gold and gems when they have the treasure of the greatest
family in the world.
There is CHOCOLATE LOVING
MOMMA
and COMPUTER GURU DADDY the leader of the Crossroads Country Ranch.
Then there is the entire bunch
of Ranchers.
Than there are the Quads.
Victoria, Caroling, Valerie and
Kyle
Kyle the 6 foot 3.5 inch young man who can build anything and is a
master of math, 
Caroline and Victoria the goat ranchers and horse owners and trainers.
Victoria and her horse, Gracie.
No folks that is not a new type
of instrument Victoria is blowing on.
The adventuress Caroline jumping Victoria’s horse.
There is Valerie who is breeding dogs to help provide funds for baby
adoption.
Then there are the younger boys.
Timothy and Joseph testing the
strength of each other.
Benjamin the newest Rancher
reading to his Big Brother Joseph.
Look at timothy’s eyes. They are defiantly on the ball.
and Joseph who is the artist of the family.
Then there is Benjamin the
youngest member of the ranchers.
He has yet to develop any
special traits other than the ability to run full steam across the room.
All the young ladies and the
boys love to read. That is the best of
all their talents. They can be anywhere
in the world by reading a book.
They can even imagine
themselves fighting off the very deadly ATTIC MONSTER.
Who needs Gold, gems, fortune
when they have such a great family?
THE END
WOW Grandpa! That is QUITE a story! I am so glad you are re-posting the stories you have written...maybe once you get them all on here (which might take a lot of time, but i hope you will!) we can get the blog printed off as a book. It's not that hard or expensive through Blog-To-Book. I might try that with my own blog at some point. Though I have trouble finding time to sit down at my computer during the day, I just want you to know how much I love and appreciate each of your stories! They are SO special and creative!
ReplyDeleteLove you TONS!!!!!
Lydia